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Open Poetry #47
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Whirlwinds (and other Lovers)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Whirlwinds (and other Lovers) |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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My world is spinning mental confusion rocks and rolls inclined in a decline of emotions spent. Rotating on an axis of head turns and light fantastic parallel half lines resisting every movement and it's momentum and each magnetic moment, combining the elements that lean to one side. Small particles derived from within turn outwards into oblivion. Symmetric measures assume either of two possibilities a place of emphasis claiming no basis of direction and the sharp contrast of stars lost in a jet stream. Yet my interpretation when captured in the right light pass neither here, nor closer to there. Tossed back, cut in the slack while the heavens rain and storms clash on the sea gaining speed a whirlwind inside of me spins faraway outside of you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Reworked from a long time ago. Sure glad I'm not there anymore. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Loved the poem and the disclaimer at the bottom. I found one of mine from the "glad I'm not there anymore days" not too long ago. I can relate. Lori |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Hey Lori~ Thank you so much, I really appreciate you stopping and leaving a nice reply for me. Thanks~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Lori...those inner whirlwinds can sure knock your socks off. But,"captured in the right light" become your own beautiful right. Makes me think of that song: "To everything turn turn turn, there is a reason, turn turn turn" It's always good to read you! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Yes, There's a lot to be said for maturity but the emotional turmoil of youth can produce some mighty fine poetry. Ida |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Enjoyed this my friend - and the disclaimer. I sure think about all the things I see in hindsight from back "then". I also think maybe maturity is very similar to that proverbial fence with the 2 shades of grass - we're still immature, just in a different decade. j. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
babyblue...we have to be there sometimes just to find our way to where we are now...enjoyed your dance here ms... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
loved reading you and seeing your new look and am with you there and remember those times shared.  M |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Martie~ Thank you for your lovely reply, yes I guess coming full circle does become my right afterall. Thank you for that thought. Dear Ida~ Aww yes, the turmoil being the key element. Tires me out just thinking about it. Thank you for being here. Jwesley~ I am tickled with your reply especially the whole idea of the proverbial fence and the two shades of grass. That is such a great thought... We are always growing and learning and evolving. Thank you so much kind Sir. Dude~ It was worth getting lost in him, but I always knew it wasn't meant to last. So yea, it was worth getting to this point in my life as well. Thank you always for sharing your wisdom and your heart speaks with me. Maureen~Yes those times were crazy but it's the craziness that makes them special...in retrospect of course. Hugs you~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yet my interpretation when captured in the right light pass neither here, nor closer to there. Tossed back, cut in the slack while the heavens rain and storms clash on the sea gaining speed a whirlwind inside of me spins faraway outside of you. ~*~ those are some awesome lines, Lady! |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I'm glad you're not there anymore, also... but misery sure makes for some fine writing. We all feel the tempest sooner or later. You depicted it well. Michael |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
thought you might have been describing a shroom tea trip there at first... glad you reworked this! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thank you Sunshine~ I love hearing from you. Michael~ Yea the irony of it all huh!! Thanks for reading me. Dixie~ No no no, I never drank the tea, I don't swallow. lmao  thanks. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Fine writing, it’s our past what makes us what we are today. Revisiting the past once in a while surely brings great poetry. "The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Love can certainly turn us inside out and upside down, can't it? *S* In one of your responses, you said it was worth getting lost in him, even though it wasn't meant to last. I love that thought... Sometimes we end up hurting so much we forget the good or fail to see that everything nudged us into a better place. *S* I love the poem but am so glad you're not there anymore and found that better place. *S* |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
Wow! This has a flow that I can't quite describe, but gosh, it's wonderful. Every line, near-perfect. Keeping! |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Although meter and rhyme is generally my cup of tea, this I enjoyed. Nicely written. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Prasad~ Thank you for being so gracious, it is replies like yours that keep me believing in the poet in me. suthern gal~ You always read me so beautifully. I thank you always for your time and your sincere replies. soul drifter~ I love knowing that you actually read me now and then. Thank you so much. Tim~ Rhyme and meter, what's that?  Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed my poetic effort. |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Well done Ms.Blues. Enjoyed your poem, Ms.E |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Uh huh, me too, and that's when I stopped using the hallucinating drugs. Haha!! ~ I knew drugs weren't the answer. I just had to find out for myself. ~ |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
really powerful stuff ... fine writing! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Perfect metaphor! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks to you ebonygirl~ Jerry~ You make me laugh. Uh huh uh huh, glad we understand each other. Thank you JP~dreampoet~ Always happy to see you here, thank you for taking the time. icebox~ Your reviews mean a great deal to me, thank you kind Sir~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Some really exceptional lines you offer us here, dear Lori! You walked your path of awareness and share it with impressive skill. Love, Margherita |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thank you Margherita, good to have you back among us. Hugs! |
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