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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2011-08-04 10:09 AM

Fall’s golden aspen leaf
      skeletal remain
hangs from a thin chain

      among hills and valleys
      only he knows so well

Hanging low
in the quiet

      until his blues
cause such a quaking

and he watches as

his leaf
trembles

and falls

among the hills
and valleys

© KRJ
8-4-11

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2011-08-04 10:13 AM

Daark-like in your concept here, sunshine, and I like it. I was going to single out a few lines to showcase, but I couldn't disrupt the poem as a whole. Excellent work.

~ If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. ~

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

2 posted 2011-08-04 10:21 AM

EXCELLENT 'write' !!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2011-08-04 10:56 AM

Ditto that Darlin'!

Lori

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 2011-08-04 12:10 PM

You never cease to amaze me, K.

"until his blues
cause such a quaking

and he watches as

his leaf
trembles

and falls"

That is so powerful.

I live about an hour and a half from a campsite called Quaking Aspen... one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. You brought me back there with this poem... and in a very exquisite manner.

Thank you.

Michael

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2011-08-04 12:14 PM

This is beautiful Karilea. How's the weather down there? No one you know blew away yet did they?

Loved the same section as Michael did, well done for sure!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2011-08-04 02:53 PM

sweetsun...you know there are places that make my mouth water....this is a view of one...

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2011-08-04 05:57 PM

Sissie...there is much power in one leaf and this poem.

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

8 posted 2011-08-04 07:32 PM

I concur with the others, this a good one.

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

9 posted 2011-08-04 07:37 PM

The Sunhsines in the Fall.
Nice poem,
ebonygirl

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

10 posted 2011-08-06 10:50 AM

Living in and aware of His creation you do know how to paint it with words.
Beautiful work.

JL

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

11 posted 2011-08-06 01:14 PM

Fine writing, delicate moments of fall captured powerfully.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

12 posted 2011-08-06 11:47 PM

Have to agree with what Michael singled out, my friend...especially, and, of course, the rest was yours as usual...much enjoyed the read.

j.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2011-08-07 11:38 AM

My poets humble me. Thank you.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

14 posted 2011-08-08 09:17 PM

All I would have said has already been said better... this is just magical.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

15 posted 2011-08-08 09:40 PM

I like magic, my friend. Thank you so much for lending your eyes and blending your thoughts. Hugging you!

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