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Open Poetry #47
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Common Ground (a duet with Michael Anderson)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Common Ground (a duet with Michael Anderson) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Long lean circumstance: He wonders should he take that chance. her gown is frayed from too much length— He wonders where he’ll find the strength. She holds a gladiola stem (Fallen petals, he gathers them) in one arm, the other is completely oblivious to his balancing the lean of this: From the shadows he blows her a kiss, curvature of rails With all that dream entails. It's common ground, the median-- Might it be here they find Eden the place where peace prevails. |
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| © Copyright 2011 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Way cool you two! I loved it! Lori |
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tuffluv66 Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 121Iowa, U.S.A. |
awsome! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I think "way cool" describes this pretty well, Karen. Ida |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I love duets! Enjoyed this one very much. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This has been a long time coming... and I'm so glad to see the time arrived. Two wonderful voices, together!  |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
For all the doubt we managed to to muster up between us, Karen, I think we proved ourselves wrong with the outcome. Your writing has moved me for years. I know this will probably come off sounding arrogant... (it's not meant to) but you are one of the few "living" poets I look UP to. It was a pleasure melding minds with you. Michael |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I was always intimidated to write with you, Michael. I still feel like your lines pretty much dressed up the piece. Thank you so much for your patience, your tweaking of my awkward lines, as well as your compassion and patience for the time it took as I go through a pretty stressful renovation. You are indeed a prince...  Thank you all for reading. |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
A duet, beautifully written. ebonygirl |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
It's been a true pleasure to read your duet. When I read the first line, I knew it would be a gem! YES! miscellanea |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
I love how two peoples thoughts and voice were said in this, yet both flow together so easily. Well done guys. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
When two extremely talent poets join forces, the result is bound to be pure gold. *S* This is seamless and superb... and what a place to find! *S* |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, I think it's brilliant(and how could it not be with two such talented poets?) The first lines set a perfect mood for the poem, with a melancholy lilt to me. I confess I'm not sure exactly where "curvature of rails" fits in. but I get lost easily. You are referring to a train perhaps? Inquiring minds want to know!!  Great work!  |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Balladeer, I can't speak for Serenity exactly, but I can tell you I pictured the woman in this poem descending a spiral staircase when I read the line... and subsequently added mine... Her gladiola stem maybe having no petals from a "He loves me, he loves me not" process on the way down. Now that you bring it up though, I wanna know too. What was the motivation, Karen? |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice duo...James |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
What a wonderful partnership and what a beautiful poem! A |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
smiling at the words...and the replies. Lovely to read and contemplate! M |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I apologize that it took so long for me to answer, but I'd had some changes made to my account through a cracked screen, and I managed to lock myself out of Pip--AGAIN. I'd like to thank you all for your sweet and generous replies, and I do want to address the question of the line of "curvature of rails".  Being completely museless lately, I was a bit daunted by this attempt to write with Michael, and could not think of a single thing to jolt my pen back into writing. I'd tried my old free-associative tricks, but nothing was coming to mind. (I'm still pretty annoyed by my cracked laptop screen, but that's where the inspiration came from...) After my son came to my rescue with a monitor, and did some sweeping up behind me as well, I found myself typing with the um...benefit? of two screens. One fine, the other still cracked. So I was staring at my cracked screen, and just like a kid looking for images in clouds, I found myself seeing what appeared to my mind to be a silhouette of a woman in a long dress on a wrought iron balcony holding a long stem of flowers of some sort. So I sent him what I had, and he ironed out the wrinkles. So basically I wrote what I saw in an inkblot, and poor Michael had the task of writing from that interpretation and making sense of it. The "common ground" and "median" was added simply because it referred to the duet itself. I'm kind of grinning here, because Michael confided he was a bit thrown off by the term "median" as he is rather old school and couldn't think of any other word to rhyme with median except for comedian. (He told me that the line of Eden came to him in his sleep.) And there ya have it folks, the prince of Darkness and the not-so-serene blaze of serenity have at long last fulfilled a dream of mine--which was to write with a poet whose work I've admired from the very first poem I'd read of his. His work inspired me so much that my own writing became an embarrassing mere mimicry of his art, but he was patient and kind enough to bear with me while I worked at finding my own voice and style. And sometimes I'm just writing through a cracked screen...  Thanks again Michael, and also to another mentor, Balladeer, and to all of you for showing up here to type such kind words yet again. (And thank you, yet AGAIN, Ron, for taking the time to go into the machine to give me access to type this very wordy speech of an explanation and gratitude.) My love to all. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Love this mixing!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I tried to find a rhyme for median But that is too encyclopedian To try is absurd. Use some other word!! Don't mind me. I'm just bohemian. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just coming back to see why this is so popular... and there you have it... a cracked screen. Of course, now I want to know HOW the screen came to its ultimate demise... But that's me, being a kitty... meow... |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
rofl a Balladeer... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I searched and searched but did not find a substitute for median so stubborn me I plead again to make the case for the slant rhyme which seems to suit my poor bent mind (and is perhaps colloquial) and more apt in context of her who graced the screen which might have cracked when weary me had hit the sack and fell asleep with an icepack to ease the migraine I had tracked to a source of common cause as I complained of contract fraud with the plumber I'd retained who must for now, remain un-named though now I spark creative muse to think of other names to use to describe the likes of him 'cause yep, it happened once again although I had said "nevermore" I tripped and hit the cold hard floor after a trip to my commode, (assaulted by my own abode!) and now I find myself again cared by a physician who handed me a little kit and told me what to put in it and oh I sigh the irony of now what has become of me! so for the sake of poetry I'm grateful I just cracked my screen and not my gallbladder or spleen or something else yet to be seen... now I pray you'll pardon me. It's medication time. AGAIN.  <--OW |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ah, K... you have my sincerest sympathies for the cracked screen... but I'd much rather it be broken than YOU! *S* As expensive as those things are, you are what's valuable. But since the screen's cracked anyway... want me to come whack the plumber with it? *S* However long it took this duet to come into being, it was worth the wait. *S* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Who doesn't like slant rhyme? |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Slant what? Is that contagious? |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well now how did I miss this? A meshing of minds of two favorites, and what a great collaboration. I am glad you made Michael work for it K. ((*^)) |
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