»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #47
»
The Betrayal
| Open Poetry #47 |
|
The Betrayal |
|
|
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
In a recurring dream of childhood that unfolds like a blossoming flower I return again and again to that grey, forboding tower. Standing like an aging sentinal amid the ruins of an old estate where hunted and alone, a wounded soldier waits... and I know I must not fail him as I slip past the iron gate. What a stark and desolate scene where brooding winter lingers; bare trees seem to reach for the tower with their crooked, boney fingers. These ruins that once were my castle covered with fairy dust, now my secret destination known only to one I trust. As I aproach the tower I am fearful for I sense a danger here but while war has raged around me I have become accustomed to fear. I climb the broken staircase. I enter the tower room and I know from his grave condition... this will be a soidier's tomb. Our eyes meet in desperation across this room where once I played, for I hear the sound of approaching troops and I know... I have been betrayed! Ida Werrett [This message has been edited by Marchmadness (08-02-2011 12:33 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2011 Ida Werrett - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Fine writing. Ida. War scene painted sorrowfully here. "The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts" |
||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Wow, Ida. This is intriguing. I wasn't breathing as I read. Alison |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Excellent portrayal of war, fear, betrayal and futility. Wish I'd've written this. |
||
|
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
That was wonderful! you really brought it to life! Lori |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow... the ending suprised me... even with the title. Good imagery here. Much enjoyed. Michael |
||
|
ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
You take me along into your poems where I feel like I'm there. Nice Ida, ebony |
||
|
tuffluv66 Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 121Iowa, U.S.A. |
I was led, then stumbled, and finally fell where he laid. |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Excellent poetry explains..and this poem I do understand. Reading it, I become a witness to its reality. That feeling is why I read poetry. |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Excellent! You brought me right along with the character. |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I was completely mesmerized by the story... beautiful work! |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
||
|
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Thank you all for you nice comments and thank you, Edna for bringing this up again. Ida |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Very enjoyable writing, Ida. Thank you. |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Damn! This is movie material. Hell of a script could be turned out with the material you have just given us, What a wonderful story/poem, Ida. ~ If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it. ~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
