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jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2011-07-31 02:34 AM

There was Silence

When the deer stopped running,
it was just inside the forest edge
beside a stream hidden
but for it's voice speaking
with the rocks over which it flowed.

When the deer fell,
it was slowly,
buckling at the knees,
trembling mightily,
struggling to stay on it's feet,
quivering with the urge
to run some more.

When the deer lay on the ground
and licked the pulsing spurts of life
flowing across it's chest to mix
in the stream dampened earth, it sighed . . .
a deep, bubbly, lonely cry.

When the deer lay down it's head,
it's nose touched the water of the stream,
the red bubbles of it's breath mingling,
and speaking with the water to the rocks
over which it flowed; to plants along it's edge,
to other deer drinking of it's strength,
to the trees, the birds and all which drank.

When the deer died . . .

           When the deer...
               died



© wesley james beard, jr.
    july 2011

[This message has been edited by jwesley (07-31-2011 03:05 AM).]

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

1 posted 2011-07-31 03:34 AM

This is so sad. I know animals die, but it breaks my heart still.

Alison

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2011-07-31 07:36 AM

I'm with Ali...it is actually a great poem and your imagery is such that it is hard on us non-hunting softies. Well done (sniff, sniff)
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-07-31 03:50 PM

Ah, I could never kill a deer, except for food and I was starving. You parlayed the dying of the deer spectacularly.

~ Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. ~

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

4 posted 2011-07-31 05:53 PM

This is a good poem but it breaks my heart. I will never be able to understand how anyone could kill something that is so defenseless.
Ida

[This message has been edited by Marchmadness (08-01-2011 08:22 PM).]

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 2011-07-31 07:10 PM

Very well written. It definately grabs you. It seems to give us all a moment of silence after the reading... maybe in hopes for a different outcome that we know won't be there.

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

6 posted 2011-08-01 02:08 AM

Still there seems positivity in the poem; the end life is not actually the end of it, is it? It’s a new beginning. Fine writing.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2011-08-01 03:01 AM

geez, I'm sad enough already tonight, then this

goodness

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

8 posted 2011-08-01 01:07 PM

.

Again another good one.

But where the Mohicans?

Oh yeah, I forgot . . .

(-;

John

.

[This message has been edited by Huan Yi (08-01-2011 03:25 PM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2011-08-05 11:14 AM

I grew up in a family of hunters and used to be a deadly shot... as long as my target was a row of tin cans. *S* I've never understood the destruction of beauty as a sport... or how anyone thinks an animal's head should be mounted on a wall instead of left on the living animal.

There was silence when I finished this poem... a silence of sadness and of awe... Ya done good, my friend. *S*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

10 posted 2011-08-20 10:12 PM

The words reach into the heart...James

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

11 posted 2011-08-20 10:17 PM

Whether the deer was shot (which I thought) or just running because it was dying and didn't know what else to do, it was sad. I, on the one hand am good with hunting, although I have never killed an animal in my life. I do cringe when I see pictures of trophy kills.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

12 posted 2011-08-21 02:48 PM

There where times when I have felt like the deer,
Remembering,
Ms. E

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