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Open Poetry #47

Reminiscence

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

0 posted 2011-07-28 11:10 AM

I miss the tune of my ringtone
That no one except us knew;
I went to bed with my cell phone
And dreamt of hearing from you.
Your voice became my sole salvation,
Your breath - the sweetest lullaby.
I miss the waiting at the station,
Observing people passing by,
And then - your smile, a hint to linger
To have a menthol cigarette
I took from cold yet gentle fingers...
And guess what happens in my head
At times I drink that lemon beer
Or white plum wine, or cold ice tea.
I'm holding those mornings dear
And keep all memories with me.

[This message has been edited by A Beautiful Disaster (07-29-2011 03:13 PM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2011-07-28 11:15 AM

Good writing. Good, good, good. Thought I'd expound upon what I meant by good writing. Haha

You gave the reader (moi)), how desperate is the wanting and longing for a lost lover. Nice writing. Nice, nice, nice

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

2 posted 2011-07-28 12:03 PM

Beautiful, poignant writing... the longing is palpable.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2011-07-28 12:57 PM

Beautifully written words. Delicate and poignant at the same time. Reminded me of someone I miss very much.

Well done.

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