Open Poetry #47 |
eyes of sighing |
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
perhaps it was those doe eyes how you looked over your shoulder and leaned into my horizon there blocking the sun with your charms whispering phrases without voice you wore that smile above heaven and made me wonder how much hell I would consume just to sip some of what little you had hidden between those bronze hesitations you had your busy hands on then touching so many other buttons playing with the thickened strings plucking them into pray grounds making statues open wide their eyes while mine were more slowly closing ____________ daark [This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (07-20-2011 11:06 AM).] |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You are a true word weaver - and your poems often delight me. This is one that does. Love it. Ali-san |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks little one...you always smile me ms ali-san |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hmmmm, this reminds me of a trip I made to Florida, and the Ringling Bros. gardens where statues stood mute for everyone but me. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This is worded very well... I catch an image as well as emotion from this... like finding your whole lifeforce within one other person... then having to sit painfully alone watching that person walk away. Maybe I'm just being sentimental today, either way, I enjoyed the read. Michael |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms sun a capture of an actress behind the glass that is aware but inside a prison as well as the suitor is confined outside. Statues always make me think love sounds. Thanks babe _________ Michael Close amigo. More forbidden and within a glass dream. Thanks guy |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Mr Daark.. you really weave some magic here :-) Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thank you ms R/B |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Loved this one. While I don't get much of your writing, I suggest that it is my problem, not yours. You venture into unknown wordplay that I have a problem adjusting to. But I liked this one very much. I'll be back. ~ Eggs and bacon, honeymoon style / What's honeymoon style? / Straight up and hard. ~ |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
I liked your poem. Your eyes were wide open when you first saw her, then closing at the end of your poem. Were they closing to continue her image in your mind? Very cool! |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Liked your poem very much. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Jp, thanks amigo. I think you feel the tune most of the time which is most of the intent. _____________ Ms ebony. Welcome to the bluezoo. You are correct in the suggestion of continuing the dream while she was otherwise busy....I also played on "love is blind" and the suggestion of slowly going there. thanks for your glances. |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Dear Dark, Eyes wide open at first sighting, then closing at the end to continue her image in your head. Very cool! Ms Ebony |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Awww dude....You make me sigh so good! special hugs for you~ |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
babyblue....you are my favorite sighway...thanks babe |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
you wore that smile above heaven and made me wonder how much hell I would consume just to sip some of what little you had hidden between those bronze hesitations You pass that sighing right on to the reader... I can get lost in your words. *G* Glass dreams, hunh? *G* That would be Steuben crystal? LOL |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms suthern...you bless me lady friend...and I am pleased to have you lost in my humble pen maze...whisper softly and I will come and find you. |
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