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Open Poetry #47
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America Flounders - Senryu
| Open Poetry #47 |
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America Flounders - Senryu |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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A specter rises Shadowing the land so dark Ancient sands trickle ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
nicely written and vivid, yann |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Much thanks, yann. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Yeah I hate it when the sand gets caught in your...oh you said tRickle. Nevermind. Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Ah, but your thoughts, Lori, are lusty, maybe you need to check out Insights. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
I like it. It's moody and mysterious and vague. It leaves a lot unresolved. The second line might mean "causing the land to become dark by shadowing it" or "shadowing the already dark land." The last line sounds like the first part of a sentence. It's got a charming brokenness that you only find in haikus and (especially) senryus. Really good poem, glad I got to read it. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Think radical Islam threat, Brian. Thank you for stopping and reading. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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