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Open Poetry #47
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Falling Out of Love
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Falling Out of Love |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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we awoke to find the light dimming on our run what once was a fireball of passion cold cinders all that remained though we continued longing for what was the nights we tried to find that fire earlier . . . passion was enough in the early days enough so we missed how we began to deceive once begun there was no checking it at the door the small falsehoods claimed our souls caused us to see each other differently that brought on the arguments then . . . we developed a blueprint how to treat the other fooled everyone but ourselves our eyes, they hardly met we allowed just enough civility to help us make it through the day but how in the name of a God did we make it through the nights so . . . we'd hung our lives on each other back then starry-eyed and innocent not understanding life can take a terrible toll unless you observed the rules keep love alive and fresh take nothing for granted or you lose now . . . black smoke is twisting from our bonfire the one we've tossed what was left of what we had all those years for naught we can barely be in the same room we have traveled such a distance I think of a dark, dark forest I couldn't be more lost inside them ~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. ~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (05-13-2011 09:38 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
chilling acuracy of the death of a relationship. Made me uncomfortable with memories of marriages that didn't make it. good write! Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I know, Lori, it is an uncomfortable poem to read, it was to write also. But thank you for getting through it. You're a trooper. ~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
this is very sad but well-crafted, great job of capturing the decline of a relationship... Love, Faith There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Hi Faith. It is the little things which build into big things that soon overwhelm us, but we just don't see these little things as problems. Until it is too late. Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
you are most welcome...loved the poem  Love, Faith There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
JerryP - One thing about Love, it makes no promises. We mortals only wish it would. The poem is a testimonial for all of us to look at and remember. Namyh |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I do so agree, Namyh. So much is made of "love," but there are so many things that constitute love, and, as we all know, love is fickle. Thank you for reading and commenting. ~ Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. ~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...Some experts say that romantically you fall in love and out of love in approxamately a two year period, and it is only after that two year period when you are able to truly love that person, because the infatuation and lust no longer get in the way...makes sense to me...James |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Makes sense to me too, James, but also after two years you can also realize you can't stand the sight of one another. Haha Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Your range is amazing, JP..from Hog Killing to this..and beyond. The truth of this poem is painful, and yet avoidable..I think? A great read for me this morning. Thank you |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Good morning, Ice, and thank you for reading and commenting on my stuff. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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AlCowie Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92London, UK |
Clear thinking poem, powerful sentiments, enjoyed it |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
That's why my Mother recommended to have some kind of testing co-living with the choosen one. She was ahead of her time, such things were judged as "sinful" in those times. But she was so right. Only by sharing the quotidianity we can really discover if there will be harmony. (for the chronicle: I did not follow her advice ... ). It's so sad when a relationship can't be healed. Problems and critical moments spare no one I think. Anyway, as usual you have offered us a great, insightful and powerful work, dear Jerry. Love, Margherita |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Al, I so appreciate your thoughts. Margherita, hand-clap for your mother. Even living with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. There is something about signing that marriage certificate that seems to change both parties for the worse in too many cases I lived with my last wife twenty years before we finally made it legal. It worked for us. ~ Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ~ |
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