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Open Poetry #47
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I Wonder Where My Girlfriend Went (Triolet)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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I Wonder Where My Girlfriend Went (Triolet) |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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I wonder where my girlfriend went, Where did she go, my little fawn? She didn't even leave her scent, I wonder where my girlfriend went. I wonder if she paid the rent, Some said she went to Babylon. I wonder where my girlfriend went. Where did she go, my little fawn? ~ 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. ~ |
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| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Jerry, you have beautifully mastered the form and I love the sound that I hear in this and how gently you wondereed about the "fawn". Very lovely! Love, Margherita |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hello Jerry, this is superb and touching, simple words vehicle grace and love, what a surprising and lovely poem. yann |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
What a nice thing to see the first thing in the morning, Margherita, is your comment. thank you so much.. yann, thank you also for your kind words about my poem. ~ 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. ~ |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Good use of the form, Jerry It is not an easy one, but you chose a good subject..and did well with it. enjoyed |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Ice. This is the second one I have tried. Flubbed the third line in the first one. Appreciate your comment. ~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~ |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
Silly singsong and softens what ails me this mornin  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Hahaha! Yeah, that 'tis what it is, EmmaRose, thanks for stopping by and glad it softened whatever's ailing ya. ~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Absolutely delightful, Jerry, and as you can imagine, I love the part about the litle fawn - I can just see you talking to him/her with his/her beautiful big eyes looking up at you the way my Benji-dog looks up at me, with his gorgeous big eyes. Come to think of it, he does look quite a bit like a little fawn! Owl |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Haha! Yeah, I shoulda figured you would zero in on the fawn language, Owl. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Any new apparitions hanging around your abode? ~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Sweet Jerry! I liked this one too, as usual. Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Good morning, Lori, and thank you. ~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~ |
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dreamgal Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442 |
This was very endearing and sweet Jerry, I also like your words "little fawn" very pure in its words i enjoyed! Dreamgal |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you so much, dreamgal. It seems "little fawn" was the star of this show. Haha! ~ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. ~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Nope, no more weird happenings, so far, thank goodness. And yes, the little fawn really does seem to have been the star of the show. Owl |
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