When Toerag turned sixteen years old
Still on his mama's knee
His mother asked her little son,
"What do you want to be?"

He put his bowl of pablum down
And spoke out loud and clear
As spittle dribbled down his chin,
I WANNA BE LIKE BALLADEER!

His mother laughed so hard she dropped
The youngster on his rear
And said, "Son, that's impossible...
There's just one Balladeer!"

In school the teachers asked him
For the choice of his career..
His answer always was the same..
I WANNA BE LIKE BALLADEER!

They said, "Son, be a astronaut,
A physicist or such,
A writer or a surgeon...
Lawyers, too, can earn quite much.

Set your sights on just one goal
Then strive to perservere
Don't dwell on the impossible..
There's just one Balladeer!"

One day along the boardwalk
With a sharp stick in his hand
Toe was passing time by drawing
Pictures in the sand.

A small lamp washed upon the shore
And Toerag rubbed its side
Releasing one humongous genie
Which had been inside.

"I thank you, master", said the genie
In a roaring voice.
"For freeing me I'll grant you any
One wish of your choice."

"Oh, boy!", laughed Toerag. "Now, at last
My destiny is here!
Good genie, grant me this one wish..
I WANNA BE LIKE BALLADEER!!"

The genie dived back in the lamp!
Toe watched him disappear,
Saying, "Throw me back into the sea!
There's just one Balladeer!!!"

He struggled hard throughout his life.
He studied till he dropped.
He worked his fingers to the bone
with drive that never stopped.

He gave it everything he had
To emulate his peer
But always came up way too short
Of matching Balladeer.

An old man now, still sitting on
The lap of his poor mama
He said, "I'm off to India
To find that Dally Lama!"

"No smarter man lives on the earth.
I'll travel to Cashmere
And force that guy to tell me
How to be like Balladeer!"

So off he went to India...
He scaled the mountains tall
And found the Dali Lama
In a small cave in the wall...

He said, "Please help me, Lama guy.
My end is drawing near.
I must fulfill my final goal....
I WANNA BE LIKE BALLADEER!!!"

The Lama smiled and said, "All right...
Catch moonbeams in your hand...
Speak words of love so sweet that
Only angels understand...

Make rainbows change their colors
Make the lion lose its roar
Cause the morning dove to call your name
Bid Hell to close its door...

Make every female on this earth
Feel like she's Gueneviere
With Lancelot riding by her side....
And you'll be Balladeer."

Poor Toerag stumbled from the cave
Into the setting sun.
He knew the secret now and knew
That it could not be done..

He was never seen alive again.
His time is done, I fear…
This foolish lad who thought that he
Could be like Balladeer.

They say on nights when winds grow fierce
And dark clouds hide the moon
A low moan echoes through the hills
In melancholy tune..

It is a haunting, sad refrain
Too low for human ear…
Poor Toerag screaming out in pain,
I WANNA BE LIKE BALLADEER!!!!