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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-03-23 07:30 AM

I have a dilemma
God spoke to me today
okay
maybe it wasn't God
could be of his messengers
about three hours ago
the visit occurred
just returned from the store
with a sack of gold bullion
well, no it wasn't actually gold
but almost as valuable
least in my way of thinking
I always check my rearview
for lurkers when I have
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
to sneak into The Hovel
one guy was across the street
trying to make me think the chain
on his old bike was broken
I made sure all the doors to the Taurus
were locked
and waited
he got tired of the game after awhile
and left
foiled again by my diligence
wasn't the first time
after quickly scanning the area
I swung into action
made it inside the already unlocked door
(I think ahead)
in record time
the minutes I had to wait
for the would-be thief
softened my
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
to the exact texture I like
dipped up a pretty good-sized bowl
sat down
and began to feast
kicked the dog when she whined for some
(she knows better)
and savored each scrumptious bite
halfway through
God
or one of his angels
made his presence known to me
no
I couldn't see him
could only feel the presence
I covered the bowl of ice cream
by bending over it, both arms braced against each other
God or angel notwithstanding
I do NOT share
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
ask the mutt
I have something to tell you
the presence spoke
sounded a little like The Duke
John Wayne for the uninformed
still hovering o'er the bowl
I waited
didn't know if I was supposed to talk to God
or . . . aw, you know the drill by now
never eat Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream again
it's unholy
that got my attention so I said
"Huh?"
make this your last bowl of
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
"Or whot?"
I realize I shouldn't have talked back to the
visitor from up there
but my dandruff was up
or you will die little man and meet the Big Guy
and He won't be happy
okay
now at least I know it wasn't God
but his flunky
in an act of superhuman defiance I scooped a spoon
into my mouth
hah
I'm laying twenty-five to one you lose
then the presence was gone
okay, now I had a problem
didn't want to die
finished what was left in the bowl
washed it and put it up
(live alone, have to do all that)
pulled out a bottle of burgundy
got smashed
thinking things over
went to bed, couldn't sleep
thinking about the rest of the
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
in the freezer
got outta bed
made some tea hoping it would soothe me
it didn't
my mind got the best of me
thinking about what was in the freezer
got up
thought about the warning
sat back down
drank more tea
bleh
Breyer's Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream
was tormenting me
still
I didn't want to die
and meet an angry God
but folks
I really, really, really wanted to finished off
what was left of that ice cream
I can quit tomorrow
I know, I know
that's not what the angel said
so here I sit
torn between
should I or shouldn't I

©March 22, 2011 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (03-23-2011 09:25 AM).]

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

1 posted 2011-03-23 09:04 AM

Giggles, Jerry - loved this, especially if it was a spiff on my poem about chatting to God, but even if it wasn't - I also know you would NEVER kick Zoe, or any other animal! Smiles.

Owl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-03-23 09:27 AM

Naw, I'd not kick my little girl-dog, and in fact she slurps up as much darn ice cream she wants when I have it. Thanks, Owl, for stopping by.

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2011-03-23 09:59 AM

I knew that so well that there isn't even an exclamation mark at the end of this sentence. Smiles.

Owl

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2011-03-23 10:10 AM

Well, well, this was one fascinating, funny, psychologically rich and profound write. And ... I can relate, not that I know of your specific peanut butter ice cream, but even a simple chocolate can do this to me. When I know it is there .... oh it is not easy to resist.
And our inner voice - through which we are, imo, really connected to the divine messengers - says "be wise" ever so often.

Enjoyed this greatly, dear Jerry.

Love,
Margherita

[This message has been edited by Margherita (03-24-2011 09:18 AM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2011-03-23 12:03 PM

Jerry we know that over indulging will be the death of us. What a slow sweet way to go, one deadly bite after another. Death by chocolate for me.

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2011-03-23 12:22 PM

Hah! Margherita, the temptation is forever our bane, and succumbing to it our downfall. But it is a delicious and tasty way to go.

I could not have said it any better, Lori. Thank you.

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

7 posted 2011-03-23 02:58 PM

Loved this, Jerry. My downfall is chocolate but at a push ice cream would do it. We once had a dog that used to demand ice cream from the vendor as he peddled past the house. He had to be paid of course so he just sat there ringing his bell until one of us emerged with the cash. Could never disappoint the dog. Thanks for making me remember.

Helen

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-03-23 07:04 PM

That is funny, Helen, thanks for the visual smile as I sit here and think about the dog and the vendor.

As I was pigging out yesterday and thinking about how much I love that particular kind of ice cream the crazy poem just floated inside my head.

Uh, I finished the rest off this morning for breakfast. I know, isn't that awful. And I'm not fat either.

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

9 posted 2011-03-23 08:52 PM

Great story about being paronoid and temptation. I hope there is more of the story to come. Enjoyed!
Kat >^..^<

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

10 posted 2011-03-23 08:53 PM

I hadn't thought about more, Kat, but since you've brought it up, maybe . . . Thank you for being here.

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

11 posted 2011-03-23 11:06 PM

'foiled again by my diligence"...this is where I could not hold the laughter in any longer and did not stop laughing until I read "shouldn't I"...great write (but then again, we should expect greatness from a Breyer's fan)

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

12 posted 2011-03-23 11:10 PM

So glad you were having a grand laugh at my expense, steavenr . . . Just kidding, thank you very much for reading my nonsensical presentation, and if it did provoke some chuckles then I appreciate it.

~ Look hard behind you and you'll be able to maneuver around the pitfalls ahead of you. ~

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