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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-03-15 06:48 AM

the traveler scoured the sea
as twilight darkened the shore
a gull screamed
go home, go home
the traveler remained
felt awash in the rising tide
he was a traveler
hence no home did he have to go to
he had been there
this day made four
the tides rose, the tides fell
staring into the fog-bound sea
townspeople came to talk
ask him why
he smiled and said 'twill be
'twas all
the children teased him
but soon grew tired
he was no fun, he just watched the sea
on the fourth day
the traveler went into the town
at a café had a plate of pasta
dark, robust wine
garlic bread dripping with olive oil
a room he rented
with a window facing toward the sea
when 'ere the townsfolk looked
he would be sitting in the window
telescope trained
toward the sea
as darkness covered the town
the stranger occupied them one and all
day and night
he sat scouring the sea
had meals sent up
the same as he had eaten that first day
tales were told
a criminal he
a murderer on the run
from the lawman's noose
lacking one day for it to be a fortnight
the wanderer was not at his post
the window empty
they followed his trail of clothing
he shed one-by-one
the clothing led them to the sandy beach
they followed his footprints
disappeared at water's edge
the townspeople looked at one another
someone said
'twill be

©March 14, 2011 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-03-15 08:24 AM

Morning Jerry! Your poem reminds me of The Tide Rises, The Tide Falls by Longfellow. I like yours better because of your wonderful touch of intrigue that is so much a part of your writing style. Gotta love it!
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-03-15 08:30 AM

Haven't read that poem, Lori, but now I will. Thank you for the compliment.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2011-03-15 11:42 AM

Lovely, Jerry! I haven't read "The Old Man and the Sea" (the book, I mean), so perhaps it has something to do with that - but I enjoyed pondering the numerous possible interpretations I could come up with - my favourite ones were a prophet prophesying the tsunami; retribution; and Christ.

Owl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2011-03-15 12:36 PM

No, this has nothing whatsoever to do with the book, "The Old Man and the Sea," Owl, except it's name. Appreciate you stopping by.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

5 posted 2011-03-15 12:42 PM

Jerry - I reckon the traveller taught the townspeople well. Whatever will be, will be. Enjoyed your tale of the old man and the sea. I think I come from the sea - love being in the water.

Helen

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2011-03-15 01:24 PM

Thanks, Helen. I so appreciate your kind remarks, and you are correct, we can all learn things from the most unexpected places.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

Word Weaver
Member

since 2011-03-06

Posts 437
California, USA

7 posted 2011-03-15 03:15 PM

Hi Jerry,
Ernest Hemingway is smiling at you. So am I; excellent write.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-03-15 03:21 PM

Ah, thanks Marcia, but I have a feeling that my words doesn't conform to his terse minimalist style. Thanks just the same for the compliment. Good to "see" ya.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

9 posted 2011-03-15 08:09 PM

Enjoyed very much! Your title made me think of the movie "The Old Man and the Sea", which I really liked, but I like your different version too.
Kat =^..^=

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

10 posted 2011-03-15 08:26 PM

Thanks, Kat. I guess I should have given it a different title, but it just sorta fit in my opinion. Some do feel I am writing about the Hemingway book and movie of the same name, but of course I'm not. Again, I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

11 posted 2011-03-16 11:05 PM

Great story with such vivid imagery. Wonderful work, JerryPat.

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

12 posted 2011-03-16 11:14 PM

Appreciate the kind words, Faith, have a pleasant night.

~ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~

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