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Open Poetry #45
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Seed Of Soul's Core (8 Syl. Rhyme Quatrain Poem)
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Seed Of Soul's Core (8 Syl. Rhyme Quatrain Poem) |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Seed Of Soul’s Core Quatrain Birth wails heartbeat’s sail wayfarer Pessimism stay still naysayers Optimism promotes spring players Realism quakes open one’s prayers. Seed of soul’s core Uni-Verse beat Flight of insight mental wing cleats Spread open poets satin silk sheet Verse budding poetic greetings. Come billow as the feathered quill Write the wind’s harmony breeze will Ride the mind’s melody notes thrill Float on musical spells throat skill. Rhythm of blues living pure bliss Rhyme passion alliterate kiss Reverb vibration love poem list Radiant warmth intertwined twists. Make love’s enlightened devotion Revolve with heartfelt emotions Nerve end feeling friction motions Ecstatic climax elocution. Seed Of Soul’s Core Poetry potion, Reach for verbal execution. Poets are born – in demonstrations Not made – of decompositions. (Poeta nascitur, non fit) David Lester Young 07/13/09 © all rights owned by author De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time Seed Of Soul’s Core Sonnets Version 2 A) Birth wails heartbeat’s sail wayfarer Pessimism stay still naysayers Optimism promotes spring players Realism quakes open one’s prayers. Seed of soul’s core Uni-Verse beat Flight of insight mental wing cleats Spread open poets satin silk sheet Verse budding poetic greetings. Come billow as the feathered quill Write the wind’s harmony breeze will Ride the mind’s melody notes thrill Float on musical spells throat skill. Navigate press-the-sail immursed In concise confine pin point terse. B) Rhythm of blues living pure bliss Rhyme passion alliterate kiss Reverb vibration love poem list Radiant warmth intertwined twists. Make love’s enlightened devotion Revolve with heartfelt emotions Nerve end feeling friction motions Ecstatic climax elocution. Seed Of Soul’s Core Poetry potion, Reach for verbal execution. Poets are born – in demonstrations Not made – of decompositions. (Poeta nascitur, non fit) Arise spirit in currents flow Of heaven’s halo inspired glow. David Lester Young 07/13/09 © all rights owned by author De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time [This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-13-2009 12:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2009 David Lester Young - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Johan Member
since 2009-05-13
Posts 88Lincolnshire, England U.K. |
With just a couple of alterations you would have two agreeable sonnets, though your poem is okay as it is, a very enjoyable read. Johan |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
DLY ~ I don't think I fully grasp where you are coming from with this write but there were several lines that really appealed to me. The following are examples of them. However, I do feel that "chill" seems somewhat of a forced rhyme to me and detracts from the poetic beauty of the rest of the couplet. ~ "Come billow as the feathered quill Write the wind’s harmony breeze chill"  EA |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Johan thank you, I will look into it. Earth Angel, I modified chill, with will than may strengthen the poem. Thanks for your constructive critique. [This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-13-2009 12:33 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
EA smiling and very happy with the change!  Thank you! |
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