Open Poetry #45 |
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Godspeed |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere ![]() |
Go softly, sweet soul, So your departure is but a whisper; A small puff of air~ Not at all like the wind with which You blew into my life That warm November night. Go slowly, dear soul, So that I am aware of you Each second you are still here; So that I am able to fully feel That you are safe and near As I cry bittersweet tears. Go swiftly, though, soul, So as to torture me no longer, Haven't I been long~suffering? I'm afraid to be left this way and I'd rather you stay close by, but Go safely, soul, With Godspeed And gossamer wings... Please go. *from the "Quieting Unrequitedness~Songs from the Time of Kren Shaw" collection ~I am the keeper of what he casted off~ |
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© Copyright 2009 shellie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Brneyedgrly, This is a well done poem. I'll look for more of your poems. Love Bobby |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You write pain quite beautifully. sigh This one, well it's kinda like The National Anthem--easy to learn, but hard as hell to sing. Impressive debut! ![]() |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
thank you so much...scary putting something so personal out there for the first time. Bones, have you ever thought of trying to publish your poetry? you are a god... i'm just happy that you noticed my poem instead of the grammar faux pas in my signature : ) "Cast" is a funny little word...it looked strange to me in hindsight and I found that one cannot use the verb in the past tense. There simply is no such word as "casted". It has been corrected...what a first impression! ~I am the keeper of what he cast off~ |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
thanks, blaze! i am overwhelmed by the compliments...this is my thing and I like my stuff, but it literally brings tears to my eyes to hear that someone else found some worth in it ~I am the keeper of what he cast off~ |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You have brilliantly captured one of the great dichotomies of grief... wanting to hold on while needing to move on. Fantastic write!!! Welcome to Passions!! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
browneyes..almost a picking off of the wings and hoping it will fly back after kind of farewell..enjoyed it |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
suthern and dark...both of your descriptions are spot~on! it happened exactly like that : ) ~I am the keeper of what he cast off~ |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Oh yes, I have been there - knowing it is time to move on but my feet were made of concrete. Lingering and looking back as I slowly trudged down another road. I like this and am enjoying you here at PiP. Alison |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~thanks so much A...i love this place and don't plan on ever leaving : ) all of you guys are great! |
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