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Open Poetry #45
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Limelight Pretense
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Limelight Pretense |
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kindredspirit Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156 |
chill embraces her in silence adopts the guise of friend a section 8 betrayal climaxed in the end a lamb led to the slaughter limelight pretense reels her in a predator by nature he revels in the art of sin hands clutch flawless throat darkness clouds his probing eye fighting pleading cringing seduced to meet his alibi he’s her unremitting nightmare the voice inside her head filthy cut that scabbed and tore apathy that shot her dead destruction whispers self-intent where-in lies the blame temptress now repented you deserve this shame prayers grasp straws touch light barren scars begin to fade forgiveness drains the venom out and thus ends the charade. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Kara Fohner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
some cactus ends in this ms...but you did them well |
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HAZARD Junior Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 40ENGLAND |
I read a romantic betrayal here - Limelight - its gaudy beams brightening fake emotions, shadows of predatory maleness greedily waiting - singeing lies roaring ... powerful stuff. The great void that opens when betrayal is discovered is certainly a place for a poets to describe. It's depths unfathomable. It waits in all of us - a land where we glimpse sorrow and her barren heart. Am constructing a similar themed Villanelle - Poetic forms are quite tough for me! Give me free verse to play in anyday! Thanks. HAZARD [This message has been edited by HAZARD (06-26-2009 09:34 AM).] |
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kindredspirit Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156 |
Dark Stranger- Thankyou.  Are there any specific ways in which I could improve this poem? Hazard- betrayal is the darkest side of human nature, the deep secrets that we throw our souls into burying. poetry blossoms from deep pain or emotions that claw their way out onto paper. it's up to us, as poets, to distinguish the manner in which these passions present themselves. Poetry in form is tricky, while free verse gives you more room to stretch your talent. and Thankyou. |
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