Open Poetry #45 |
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No where to go... |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia ![]() |
Scene 1 Driving home Head Lights on Seat belt secure Music playing Weather clear Traffic flowing Happy thoughts Scene 2 Tempo changes Brakes screeching Metal crunching Loud crash Louder bang Everything slows People dazed Details given Lights flashing Vehicles towed Scene 3 Distress and shock Envelopes me leaving nowhere to go but here... |
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© Copyright 2009 Roniece Dawson-Bruce - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Roniece, hope you are fine! I missed your presence here, so I am glad you have come back. Your poem describes shock so well. Nowhere to go? Thank you for coming here ... remembering that friendship is always alive here. Even when we are well equipped, sometimes the circumstances unfold in unexpected ways. (((((Roniece))))) Love and hugs. Margherita |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Margherita.. dear Margherita.. thank you so much, with your help I have now added the closing lines to this poem. I know I have been absent from PiP due only to work commitments.. but you are all still in my heart and mind.. always lovely to come home love and hugs to you dear friend RDB xx Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms r&b..so is it true what they say about women drivers? grin...glad you are ok lady!! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
glad you're arriving safe and sound, though it appears you had to steer straight to get back again |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
very effective 'slice of reality' write. ['life' can certainly turn on one in an instant] well done! |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear RDB, It sounds like you had one of those hiway adventures. I'm pleased you made it through okay, and in one piece. Love Bobby |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
What a terrifying experience! Thank God-ness that you came through it intact! ~ even if your poor car didn't! ![]() This was not exactly the come-back poem that I would have expected! But it sure was a powerhouse one! Succinct and with 'impact'! Welcome home, RDB! You've been missed! ![]() Lindylou |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Roniece, you know very well you have to watch out for those 'roos on the road! ![]() Hope it's just a poem and not an actual event...missing you. ![]() |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank goodness you're okay...I had to read through the responses to know. Bless you, sweetheart... sometimes we have to have a bug's eyes to see what's going on around us! ![]() |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
RONIECE!!!!!!! You've been missed! ~ Sorry to hear what happened. I am so glad to hear that you are okay! ![]() ARCTIC WIND |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Thank you all so much for your lovely responses... I had a vehicle accident on my way home 2 nights ago.. I am ok just suffered some bruising but nothing serious. This is my first piece of writing for many months, I guess the shock of the accident jolted my writing skills again! ![]() ![]() Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Driving home Head Lights on Seat belt secure Music playing Weather clear Traffic flowing Happy thoughts Dear Roniece, this first verse sounds like the Roniece I know and I was dissappointed that you had to have an accident to bring you back to us, but thankfully you have not been badly hurt. We have all missed you my dear, so it was very pleasing to see you posting again. Keep up the good work and no more accidents please. Love to you my friend Lindsay |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Roniece, I have missed you so much. I am so glad you decided to come here. Welcome Back! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Wow....Scarry! Made for a great poem though! Funny how our muse shows up when we least expect it, huh!! Glad you are ok, RDB~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Put me right there in the seat! Very first person. Happens just like that...one moment serene, the next horrific...but you walked away and THAT'S what counts!! j. |
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HAZARD Junior Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 40ENGLAND |
I liked this simply stated slice of life. A poem which turns an ordinary day into a traumatic one, albeit an unpleasant accident. In the 2nd stanza after the line -Tempo changes - I would have tried throwing the poetic cadence out of joint - a discordant flux of words (yet understandable). Then back to the first stanzas clickety click for the last stanza. This would highlight the plight, the sudden change and also point perhaps to a 'road to damascus' moment. Which has once more surfaced serenity and poetry in your life. A few posters seem to be saying something similar. Yet I fear the hands of fate have brought you their gifts at a high price... I'm new so cannot welcome you back - but I do wish you all the best with your work. Hazard. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Thank you Hazard I do appreciate your constructive critique of my work and thank you for your kind wishes. RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
RDB, Sweetie, I felt like I was riding shot-gun. I am so happy that you are okay, but I know how scarey these accidents can be. Welcome back. I hate it when you go away for too long. Ali-girl |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Hi Roniece, So glad to see you back. Sorry about your accident. Hope everything is okay. I have missed you and your lovely poetry. Love, Ida |
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