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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2009-11-29 09:14 PM

Oh I liked the crackled view--
life was more palatable
broken up in little bits--
I did not see the all of you.

One of them had smoky edge--
she had it there behind a hedge.
I felt warm protection as
nearly deep as sank the wedge

as it was, so it will be.

Another served me Latte' as
we both wept about what was--
Interlacing fingers we
grieved the things that would not be:

No idea that she meant us
I left her with my cigarettes
while I dashed for home, she phoned,
saying "don't come back,

I'm gonna go to bed."

I think I like the spindle, best.
It was designed to stand the test
of rain, and snow, and all duress--
I played there on my own.

I knew I was all alone
pretending different circumstance--
in my Dad's backyard, I throned
the table where I danced.

I was a fat girl, sometimes slim
depending on the whims within...
and I played for roarous crowds
(sometimes I said my "thanks" out loud)

inured to laughter, I held court.
Fantasy was favored sport.
I dealt the cards and drew the grins
on places where I thought my friends

might have sat

if they'd exist

ed...to be

perfectionist:

I'm different, that way...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

1 posted 2009-11-29 09:16 PM

serenity blaze - yes, you are different in your writings, which make them so good...

BC

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2009-11-30 09:58 AM

quote:
inured to laughter, I held court.
Fantasy was favored sport.
I dealt the cards and drew the grins
on places where I thought my friends

might have sat

And that fantasy was and is a wonderful gift, isn't it.

Excellence in this write, with its melancholic moments wonderfully rendered.

Love,
Margherita

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

3 posted 2009-11-30 09:44 PM

Every line portrays that little girl within. You'll never grow old, K. You have too many fresh juices running through you.

God bless,
Rae

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2009-12-03 02:50 PM

I don't know whether I like the beginning best... or the ending... Maybe it's the in-between. *S* I just keep catching glimpses of a little girl who's different, too... but not you. *S*

Here's to breaking the molds! *S*

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