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Open Poetry #45

an observation of life

fitz1901
Junior Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 16
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2009-11-18 07:56 PM

Cigarette smoke
a hanging facade, a bleached mirage, dangling loosely in the sky
twirling, a dancing silhouette on a grand stage
until with gasping breath, frozen wind, it fades away
into nothingness............
(and yet it leaves its stain)

AncientHippie
Member

since 2009-10-15

Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow

1 posted 2009-11-19 08:51 AM

Thank you, Fitz. I see in this little piece an observation made on two levels. Very clever work here.
Namaste
Jim

"We are stardust: we are golden: and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden." --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

GBride
Senior Member

since 2009-07-02

Posts 538

2 posted 2009-11-24 09:47 AM

Well done!
cleaver, and imaginative.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 2009-11-29 12:37 PM

I like this.

A

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