Open Poetry #45 |
The Old Vet |
sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
The Old Vet I took my four year old one time to a July fourth parade We found a place that offered us a little bit of shade Sitting there close by to us was a white haired older man His eyes were fixed on something as the parading soon began My son was fascinated by the old man’s intense stare And soon we saw he was looking at the flag waving in the air It was the first thing passing by us as the parade began to start And the old man struggled to his feet with his cap across his heart As we stood next to this gentleman my young son asked me why The older man was shaking and had a tear forming in his eye Once we all were seated and the parade went on its way We spoke with the older gentleman and proudly did he say That he had served in the Marine Corps during World War Two And he was very proud he’d served the red, white, and the blue He said he’d lost his brother and his very dearest friend But it had been an honor to have this country to defend The older man then said he’d lost his son in Vietnam And he said I couldn’t tell you just how proud of him I am I hope that some will think about the sacrifice he made So that we can all be here to watch this beautiful parade The old man then put his hand on my son’s tiny head And he gently ruffled up his hair as quietly he said My son’s name was James but we always called him Jim And seeing you here with your Dad it makes me think of him My son sat very quietly moving next to the old chap And reached into the bag we’d brought to get his baseball cap He put the cap upon his head as we watched a marching band And slowly he reached up and took the old man by the hand Soon another flag passed by and I was quick to realize The old man wasn’t the only one with a tear forming in his eyes My own eyes started misting as I stood there most impressed As my son stood with a proud marine with his cap across his chest |
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© Copyright 2009 Stephen E. Washam - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh my! I am reading this as the planes are flying overhead here in Vancouver to honor our veterans, and I have to say this moved more to tears. Thank you for remembering those that give so much for us, so eloquently. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It gets no better, Steve...a very moving piece nicely done. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks again Steve, I remembered I had written a little something when my oldest granddaughter met a vet at the mall years ago. She is 10 now, but she got a kick out of reading and remembering her experience. You get older you sure forget things. I won't be forgetting this poem anytime soon, and printed it to put with Michael's "Pain In My Chest." |
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Poetal Member
since 2009-11-09
Posts 74Texas, United States |
A beautifully written prose with excellent Rhythm and rhyme scheme. Try taking the same poem and move the second line to the third and the third to the second and notice it still makes since but line one and three will rhyme and line two and four will rhyme. That's how songs are written. You could then add music to these lyrics making a beautiful song! AL AL Inmon |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
One to remember. Beautiful writing usual, Stephen. Ida |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Thus showing true love to any old friend, In my books I'd say you will always win! Steve that is a real masterpiece you have written here my friend and I thank you for sharing this gem with us all. The rhyme and rhythm is almost perfect telling us about this great Parade. I never like telling other peole how to write but I just couldn't help myself with this one, as I think the depletion of one word would perfect it. Remove the "the" from red, white and the blue. I hope you won't be offended by my interference but it is a wonderful poem. Take care. Lindsay |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you. |
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sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
Thanks for all the comments my friends. I appreciate it. A special thanks to all our vets. Take care and Have fun. Steve |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for this... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is fine writing...fine writing...James |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
I miss so many good poems. There are so many each day that if I miss one or two days I am lost.I decided to go back to see what I missed. So sorry I missed this one. I loved it and if you do not mind I would like to send it to an old Marine in Hawaii who is now instructing younger marines. latearrival |
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