Open Poetry #45 |
Window Dreams (Poetry Workshop) |
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
When darkness filled my window pane And shadows flickered through my brain The memories returned to tease They mocked me; I could not appease I did not know you were not sane When darkness filled my window pane You lurked and cowered in the night You stole far more than was your right I waited when the lights went out Your whisper shot out like a shout When darkness filled my window pane So quietly you’d call my name I hated you when all would sleep The secrets I was taught to keep In nightmare moments you remained When darkness filled my window pane - Alison |
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© Copyright 2009 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Quite intriguing, dear Alison, most beautifully written! Enjoyed this greatly! Love, Margherita |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Margherita. Know what? I want to sleep in a few more hours, that's what I really want. Why does morning come so often in the ....morning? And why do airplanes leave at 1:00 am and people have to be taken to the airport? Sorry, I got lost in a bit of a whine here. xoxoxo Love, Alison |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Smiling. Tell me to stay up till 2am but don't ask me to get out of the bed at 6am ... though dawn is a breathtaking spectacle and when I am up I do enjoy it (but that does not happen often!). I do understand you! Hugs Margherita |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Alison, Polished to perfection. Doc |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Moose Man. A |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hello Alison, it looks as a painful experience and you can be glad it's over...Your poem sound deep and true. regards yann |
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Poetal Member
since 2009-11-09
Posts 74Texas, United States |
Deep thoughts with wonderful rhythm and rhyme scheme. I appreciate a good write and this one you could make into a song. AL Inmon |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I just LOVED it! This should be a book That poetry workshop has turned you into a poetic perfectionist young lady! I have lost the time and patience to write these days, but love reading good poetry here. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Haunting! ! Also, see that your learning new stuff everyday in the Poetry Workshop, neat! ARCTIC WIND |
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shalisadefa Member
since 2009-08-13
Posts 114 |
Can't help but think this poem is about incest. Do correct me if I'm wrong. Underneed the rythm and rhyme I read a grieving story of abuse. Still it's a most intriguing write. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
That is a very cute poem dear Alison and so very well written. A joy to read. Love. Lindsay |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
another good read, especially since I love rhythm and rhyming... though except for espionage, I wonder if it is ever good to keep secrets... You are writing very well! M |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you all. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments. It's interesting how varied the responses are on this poem. I won't elaborate on it as I think it's best to just let people read it for what they believe it is all about. Again, thank you. Alison |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I hated you when all would sleep The secrets I was taught to keep In nightmare moments you remained When darkness filled my window pane I think we all bring our experiences to our interpretations... and mine have me wanting to give you a hug even as I applaud the excellence of each line. |
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Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
That is excellent. I'll not go into what it says to me, but it says it so well. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Yes, Alison, I'm sure this piece will bring to mind many varied experiences for different readers and that is what a really good poem is all about. So well written. Ida |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Alison, I have to tell you, girlfriend, the images that are playing through my mind make me want to jump into my monitor and go give you a comforting hug and rock you into a gentle, peaceful sleep. I hope this is just poetry ~ albeit VERY good poetry!!! Love and a warm hug, Linda |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, friends of mine - I can't really think of any thing more to say right now. Thank you. Love, Alison |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Alison....Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy too. You've written a sad song perhaps, but with dignity and grace. |
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GBride Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538 |
Deligful!!! A friend once told me, "When I have a resentment against someone, I am allowing them live in my head rent free." |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Oh! that was outstanding Alison! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you to those who took the time to respond to this poem. Each comment has meant a great deal to me. Love, Alison |
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