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Open Poetry #45
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SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina

0 posted 2009-11-05 10:06 AM


I wrote this one for us
Or just another view, maybe
Another pair of feedback eyes
Telling me what to do
Or just what they would do
But some of it was still for us
I insist, I'm not looking for advice
Although it slaps me in the face
These things my strangers say
I just want to see the sun come up
For once again
This wasn't just for us
There used to be a me and you
But then there was just you
And then just me
Where 'we' were so hard to come by
As I begin to realize the later I stay up
Less time I close my eyes
I guess I didn't write this for us
I wrote this for my strangers
But who never know the difference
Between me and you
And me and them

November 5th 2009
Emily Shives


© Copyright 2009 Emily Shives - All Rights Reserved
kindredspirit
Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156

1 posted 2009-11-05 11:37 AM


"There used to be a me and you
But then there was just you
And then just me"
You express this well.
---Overall an intriguing piece of work. I like it.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2009-11-06 10:06 PM


I can relate well

you wrote it perfect

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