»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #45
»
Loving You
| Open Poetry #45 |
|
Loving You |
|
|
Lamar Cole Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274 |
Loving you is as pure as the snow in winter. Sweet as the air in spring. Bright as the sun in summer. Beautiful as the leaves in fall. Loving you fulfills me. Your love is real to me. Loving you excites my soul. Your love makes my life whole. |
||
| © Copyright 2009 Lamar Cole - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kosmic888 Junior Member
since 2009-11-01
Posts 29Vancouver Canada |
Hello Lamar Although I get what you say in your poem, it fails to evoke strong imagery in me. Not that it's written poorly, it just lacks strong metaphor... Poetry should stir someone's memory, and to do that the poet must use the unconventional. For instance, if you wanted someone to remember the word car, don't park the car in the driveway, but hang it in a tree. It's unconventional, and that's what people never forget  Hope this helps get my point across... Kosmic888'we are all connected by strings of light' |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
