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Open Poetry #45
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Thin
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Thin |
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dragngrl28 Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45Texas, USA |
These walls are too thin. Every punch and hit reverberates through my room. I stuff cotton in my ears. But the sounds of pain echo in my head over and over. A madness is growing in my skull I hear every bone shatter, every bruise develop, every simpering sound. Yes, these walls are too thin. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Bobbie Addington - All Rights Reserved | |||
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GBride Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538 |
Tragic, and all too true of apartment living. You want to call the cops. But you know the woman being beaten will hate you for it. Let's keep it all quiet and hidden. No one will know, until it's too late! Then everyone will know. But it will too late. Provocative!!! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Been in those shoes you wear, my friend. Hated it with an intensity you would not believe. Enjoyed you well written piece of life though - you did it well. j. |
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martiniat8 Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic |
this is good, but I'd like to read more feeling, and less description. More power!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I read it s a child hearing his mother being beaten by his father....and it's strong enough for me. Sometimes the soft-spoken words speak the loudest. |
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dragngrl28 Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45Texas, USA |
Thank you all for the responses. I wrote this from a child's view of hearing the sounds of abuse but it can relate to a variety of situations. Abuse occurs more often than many know and I only hope that my words can help encourage positive change. |
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shalisadefa Member
since 2009-08-13
Posts 114 |
Although the message is loud and clear I can understand why martiniat8 wants more emotions. It's like the child is keeping it's rage in and we want him to vent more in order to deal with the frustration he feels. |
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AncientHippie Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411Surfing the Cosmic Flow |
Very heavy, dragngrl28. All of us know people who have been on the other side of the wall. You have shone a light on the horror. Kindest regards Jim Sutra 3: See your reality for what it is, not for what you think it is: this is the first step to making your reality what you wish it to be. |
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