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Open Poetry #45
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dragngrl28
Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45
Texas, USA

0 posted 2009-10-14 10:43 PM


These walls are too thin.

Every punch and hit
reverberates through my room.

I stuff cotton in my ears.

But the sounds of pain echo
in my head
over and over.

A madness is growing in my skull

I hear every bone shatter,
every bruise develop,
every simpering sound.

Yes, these walls are too thin.


© Copyright 2009 Bobbie Addington - All Rights Reserved
GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

1 posted 2009-10-15 11:17 PM


Tragic, and all too true of apartment living. You want to call the cops. But you know the woman being beaten will hate you for it.
Let's keep it all quiet and hidden. No one will know, until it's too late! Then everyone will know. But it will too late.
Provocative!!!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2009-10-16 12:06 PM


Been in  those shoes you wear, my friend. Hated it with an intensity you would not believe.

Enjoyed you well written piece of life though - you did it well.

j.

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
3 posted 2009-10-16 03:35 AM


this is good, but I'd like to read more feeling, and less description. More power!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2009-10-16 09:42 AM


I read it s a child hearing his mother being beaten by his father....and it's strong enough for me. Sometimes the soft-spoken words speak the loudest.
dragngrl28
Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45
Texas, USA
5 posted 2009-10-16 10:31 AM


Thank you all for the responses.

I wrote this from a child's view of hearing the sounds of abuse but it can relate to a variety of situations.

Abuse occurs more often than many know and I only hope that my words can help encourage positive change.

shalisadefa
Member
since 2009-08-13
Posts 114

6 posted 2009-10-18 06:56 PM



Although the message is loud and clear I can understand why martiniat8 wants more emotions.
It's like the child is keeping it's rage in and we want him to vent more in order to deal with the frustration he feels.

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
7 posted 2009-10-18 08:33 PM


Very heavy, dragngrl28.  All of us know people who have been on the other side of the wall.  You have shone a light on the horror.
Kindest regards
Jim

Sutra 3: See your reality for what it is, not for what you think it is: this is the first step to making your reality what you wish it to be.
--Jim's

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