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Open Poetry #45
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Autumn
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Autumn |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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Either Autumn came or something is out of order! The maples, in crimson flames, are begging for some water. Smoke rises from the cement. But there’s no lightning, no thunder! A beagle picks up the scent of the fleeting summer. The sun sets, covered in ash. The evening skyline’s darkened. The temperatures rise and crash, like stocks in the open market. The lungs expand and collapse, fragile, brittle and frail, And centuries seem to elapse before one can even exhale… Before one can take it all in, the fingers release the pencil And sweat starts to seep through the skin, like ink through a stencil |
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| © Copyright 2009 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kal525 Junior Member
since 2005-12-20
Posts 26 |
Really great imagery in this poem and a wonderful ode to autumn... My favorites: "The maples, in crimson flames" "The sun sets, covered in ash. " I don't follow the ending though. I reread it a few times, and I'm sure you're trying to communicate something, but I can't follow the analogies. Are you trying to communicate the fleeting nature of summer? The last two lines where sweat seeps through the skin make me think that the person holding the pencil is nervous at the short time he has to "capture" everything. Am I close? |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Andrey, this is a very powerful Autumn poem. Yes there is some kind of anticipation of death, the perception of the shortness of existence maybe ... Love, Margherita |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Great to read you again. I loved this autumn tribute, and likened it to our life span. We, like autumn never stick around long enough to take it all in, but I sure try.  |
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