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GBride
Senior Member

since 2009-07-02

Posts 538

0 posted 2009-09-18 07:47 AM

A poem should be pithy. It should have substance.
It should have strength and elasticity like a basket ball,
so that you can bounce on the concrete many times,
and it won't be changed or altered in any way.

It should pick you up and knock you down.
It should spin you in the air for hours,
and never tire out from the effort.
It should be more than you could imagine.

It should pick you up and slap you hard.
It should throw you over the goal line.
It should change you inner self in strange ways.
That you could not imagine possible.

I made the mistake of showing the poem to my mother.
She asked me “Where are the trees blowing in the wind.”
“Where are is the little boy walking down the forest path.”
“Where is the mean, ugly wolf who chases the boy.”
“Where is the terrifying ending where the boy barely escapes.”

“And most importantly, where is the mother that warned the boy,
of the dangers in the forest, but he failed to listen to her closely.”
“And thus, he has learned his moral lesson to pay attention, and
do what his mother tells him no matter what anyone else says.”

Now, though all this may be true would you put it in your poem?
No, I don't think so, and neither would anyone else.
Because it would be too blah, blah, blah, blah
And everyone would hate the poem

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-09-18 10:59 AM

Made me smile. Both, your Mother and you, have your own point gotten right. What really counts, in my opinion, in the end are the emotions a poem stirs just as you say, whether it is concise or rich in words.

Loved this. I think you have written some perfect poems also for the taste of your Mom!

Love,
M

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

2 posted 2009-09-18 11:11 AM

Hello G, I like the fact that the poem which talks about qualities posess the qualities it talks about, it is an interesting way of write, and I enjoy the remarks of the momther to the son poet...Thanks for a very enjoyable read.

yann

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

3 posted 2009-09-18 03:12 PM

I agree, A poem should contain life,passion,
after you have read it, you walk away, feeling something, changed, thinking, inspired!

it should hold substance, have some guts to
it....

enjoyed your passionate expression here!

just what a poem should be!

~ARH

GBride
Senior Member

since 2009-07-02

Posts 538

4 posted 2009-09-18 07:05 PM

Thanks for reading my poem!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2009-09-19 09:48 AM

GB, your poems are always delightful ~ as are you! I love your rye sense of humour and your no nonsense way of expressing yourself.

I collect poems about poems and poets and this is definitely a