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Open Poetry #45
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of hands some ice
| Open Poetry #45 |
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of hands some ice |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast 
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sometimes on those residue afternoons that were like sweet remaining reminders on the lips after a lover smiled slowly and left an extra kiss or two as a souvenir and then when you were there also leaning on that railing looking down smiling at me as if you had a secret and if we were alone you would tell me we laughed at how the ocean seemed then like an unmade bed with crumbled green and like we had been there so often before when our skin was soaked with passion your hands were never big enough really to hold everything you wanted to surround but they could have been a gentle healing now if they were here to touch my eyes again instead, they stole the sun, then waved goodbye _____________ daark (do of sand) |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"we laughed at how the ocean seemed then like an unmade bed with crumbled green and like we had been there so often before when our skin was soaked with passion" really loved this  |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Loved it. Especially, "your hands were never big enough really to hold everything you wanted to surround." There's just something about the way you write...your word choice, the way you ponder things...it draws me in every time. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Suesea. Thanks babe ________ Alwye, humble thanks. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"and left an extra kiss or two as a souvenir" ...Loving your work, you know that already. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms K..you smile me lady friend..thank you so much for your touch. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your gifts of personally yours never leave your thought nor your pen every woman should have at least one time in their lives such a letter. Well done... conceived, delightful. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Again the whole poem is enchanting. The conclusion holds such a subtle refined melancholy, that I feel the desire to bring back warmth into ice eyes. Love, Margherita |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms sunfun...thanks babe ____________ ms mar, thank you lady friend |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
we laughed at how the ocean seemed then like an unmade bed with crumbled green --- You swept me away with those two lines. That is incredible writing and the picture is garish in my mind. A |
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r v wooo Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656 |
daark, always enjoy where your poems take me...this one was as smooooth as a ride in a '29 packard. [This message has been edited by r v wooo (09-02-2009 09:13 PM).] |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms ali-san thanks little one _______ Friend woo, thanks for the read and ride |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
your hands were never big enough really to hold everything you wanted to surround but they could have been a gentle healing now if they were here to touch my eyes again instead, they stole the sun, then waved goodbye Bittersweet at its best and most beautiful... *soft sigh* |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Suthernsweet. You always polish a smile onto my word thoughts, thanks lady friend |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Bittersweet indeed. ARCTIC WIND |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks aw, you smile me |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
"that were like sweet remaining reminders on the lips after a lover smiled slowly and left an extra kiss or two as a souvenir" D, No matter how long I'm gone, coming back to roll around in your words is always such a treat that leaves me totally satisfied and longing for more. ~D |
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