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Open Poetry #45

Life ending at 20

Writ_Upon_Emotion
Junior Member

since 2009-08-26

Posts 13
Manchester, England

0 posted 2009-08-26 02:52 PM

No Direction -

Stuck at a crossroads
Fuel tank full
Mileage is 20
But my car won't drive
Traffic is heavy
Lost site of my friends
How i wish i could fly

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-08-26 03:48 PM

Though the title is dramatic, the experience isn't, even though in the moment it must have felt like hell, losing sight of your friends.

You captured the moment well.

Love,
Margherita

Writ_Upon_Emotion
Junior Member

since 2009-08-26

Posts 13
Manchester, England

2 posted 2009-08-26 03:52 PM

Once again a thankyou for a reply from such a creative mind, and joyous replies

WTBAKELAR

Senior Member

since 2008-09-09

Posts 1089
Utah, USA

3 posted 2009-08-27 01:01 PM

From the title of the poem, this seems plum full of metaphors. At a crossroads, {where to turn} tank full {had enough} age of 20,
Lost all friends, {lonely}
wish I could fly, {leave this earth}

Am I reading too much in this post?

very interesting,
Tracey

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2009-08-27 10:57 PM

Welcome to Passions!

Your writing is extremely emotional,
and we're glad to have had you find a
place where you can trust on others
to give you the critique you wish.

Please,

Check your email for a very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2009-08-28 09:07 PM

With trepidation, I clicked on your title. I was relieved when I realized that that was not literally the case. I found myself echoing both Margharita's and Tracey's responses.

Welcome to our "Circle of Friends".

I hope you continue to share your feelings. I find it very cathartic at times.

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,

Earth Angel

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2009-08-28 09:38 PM

Welcome to Pips!

yes, welcome to the poet blue super highway
where whatever your tank level
you are welcome

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