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Open Poetry #45
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Enter the Morning
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Enter the Morning |
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washball New Member
since 2009-08-14
Posts 2 |
Enter the morning Going, going Time wakes up on its warm side Enter the morning Going, going Light breaks in through the tides Enter the noon Going, going Light creeps in on mothers mind Enter the noon Going, going The sun beats down on child’s smile Enter the evening Going, going The air cools the restless lives Enter the evening Going, going The rain washes the dust aside Enter the night Going, going Mother places her love inside Enter the night Going, going Time lies down to rest its eyes Enter the morning Going, going Time wakes up on its warm side…. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Brian Barbour - All Rights Reserved | |||
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Welcome To PIP Brian~ I am not a morning person...lol but the mornings are beautiful! ~ARH  |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
ah nice ::smiles:: very nice I enjoyed this greatly Welcome to PiP !!! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Welcome, Brian. I enjoyed the long day, then the recycling back to a new morning. |
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Lone_Wolf84 Junior Member
since 2009-05-26
Posts 21 |
Very nice, I am definitly no expert but u will see me trying to pass as one frequently hehe. The wording 10 points the msg..well it's a diffrence of ideas. When u see the "zombies" come out at the evening I see the sun beckoning the moon to take over the job as guardian so it may rest, the zombies come out while the Sun is seducing the moon on the "acappella" (borrowed from another poem) Great tho, very on point. I just didn't like one thing, "the sun beating down the child's smile" beating..sounds harsh. I can like...see it in another light tho, like "damn it's evening I got to go to bed" please brainstorm, I am interrested on why you choose that wording. |
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washball New Member
since 2009-08-14
Posts 2 |
Thank you all for the responses and the welcomes to the board. lone wolf: I was trying to convey a day in the summer, and so I felt that the word "beat" fit best in describing the sun's role in the poem - I see your point though, and you are right as the rest of the poem has a tranquil sense to it. Thank you for your words. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
welcome to passions  |
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