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Open Poetry #45
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in the thick (my baby girl's poem, I promised)
| Open Poetry #45 |
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in the thick (my baby girl's poem, I promised) |
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unboundpoetess Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477
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Promised my daughter I would post her poem. In the thick Of the jungle Covered in rain I hear the lions weep Mercilessly I fight the branches I hear soft sounds But see blood filled grounds Not a human's trace Not even mine Trotting through wet leaves Looking for survival Going mad Drinking my salt waters I drop to my wounded knees and pray In the thick Of the jungle -my girl, age 9 |
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| © Copyright 2009 Heather - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Your baby girl is takin' after her mum I see. good story telling and nice pictures to put us right there in the thick of things.  |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
age what? That's insane. Tell your daughter she's a baller. From Paul.  I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ubp... quite the art for the old minded young one... |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Awesome Heather. You should be very proud. This was very intelligent, advanced writing. |
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unboundpoetess Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477 |
grins Thank you, sweet friends. She's reading this you know... Of course my mommy heart is all puffed up. You should hear her read it out loud...she has a flair for the dramatic just like her mum. We had an impromptu play in the kitchen the other day. We spoke in Cockney accents for over an hour LOL Love you guys. H |
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zaaclindsay Member
since 2009-08-12
Posts 111Ottawa Ontario |
hi, this sounds like my daughter and I although for her its art. This is a very old soul indeed, but the one thing that I wondered as I read was where these feelings are coming from and what the real message is behind the words. zaac |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Absolutely awesome. I'm saving this one, it is filled with great heart, spirit and awareness. Some people were born to write. I believe she is one of these natural talents, but of course, guided through life by a fantastic mom who writes superbly.  [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (08-20-2009 05:35 PM).] |
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ramisf Member
since 2007-05-17
Posts 93 |
Being Gloomy will hurt most of the time. I like to see people cheering up no matter what the reason is. besides the sea wahter is always salty it wont be any bitter. No matter what, it will be clean and it will sanitize all people swiming inside it. Wish you the best... Cheer up :-) [This message has been edited by Balladeer (08-22-2009 04:22 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Your daughter may be young in Earth years but her soul is ancient!!! It would appear that the petal did not fall far from the magnolia tree.  Simply outstanding! Her is a heart hug for each of you!   Linda |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
To Heather's "baby girl" First, you realize that you will always be your Mom's baby girl, right? My Mom still introduces me to her friends as her "baby"! It makes me laugh!  Anyway, Heather's "baby girl", I really liked your poem. Aside from the fact that you are nine (This is how I was at 9. I had a test and a question was, "What happened to the dinosaurs?" - I wrote (no lie here) - this is all I wrote too. "They ate each other and the last one starved." As you can see, poetry was not part of my life!) Anyway again ... sheese, I do ramble, don't I? Anyway, I really liked the descriptions in your poem. I felt like I could see the Lion and feel him. I also could smell him and ... boy, do Lions stink! Good job - thank you for sharing. Alison |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Just had to pop back in and make a comment about Alison's regarding the vanishing dinosaurs. Alison, you may not have been as 'poetical' as 'Heather's Baby' at that age, but your response to your teacher's question certainly illustrated your inate intelligence! ~ and some of your wit and charm!  Linda |
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Suncleaver Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481Stafford England |
Wow, Heather. That is extremely eloquent and sophisticated, let alone for a nine year old girl. You must be nurturing her imagination beautifully. On another note; the combination of heatstroke and strong liquor in the spanish sun is not good. Kindly teach your little daughter that too. *applause* |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
This is evidence that talent really does travel through generation to generation. A message is at the break of revealing itself. Perhaps are part two is in order? ARCTIC WIND |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
"Unbound junior" you are terrific! Her teachers surely drop their jaws at her performances! Love, Margherita |
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angellea Member
since 2009-03-29
Posts 144NC, USA |
she gets it honest! i certainly hope she keeps this up. bravo, sissy girl! love, maranda |
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