Open Poetry #45 |
Sleepless |
Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Underneath her breath Between the right and left of her neck, She sat sullen, With her back to her mothers fingers, Her eyes tied with grim, and her lip quivered like a portrait in the dim light. Underneath her shirt, Below her tight jeans, She was vulnerable again. Her long angelic hair sat on her mothers lap, cradling to her skin, Flailing to the hands That hurt her thighs like the whiskey bludgeoned dip of his ease. His battered hands Clenched around her naval, around her deep sigh, like a piano without its keys. She blinked, and it was over. Her hands shook; they shook. |
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© Copyright 2009 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Oh my, this aches. You have carefully chosen words to describe an unthinkable horror, a truly sensitive subject. Well done, Tomer. |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
What in the world is this all about? You got me. What ever it is. It is not pretty. You need help. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
This is a sullen piece. Enjoyed. |
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Sonofgloin Junior Member
since 2009-06-09
Posts 48Australia |
Interesting choice of topic, there must be a story behind it, please do not tell me though. |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Thanks for the responses. Guys, it's fiction. There's no story behind it. Just wanted to tell a story of a woman being hurt by someone. Tomer |
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raeann New Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 2 |
This is by far one of my favorites i have seen yet. some people think its not right my i loved it because of the situation it is about that i have been in it can be taken in many ways. great job! |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
I got it Tomer, and liked it a lot. It was dark and sparse. Not every poem is about reality, nor should it be. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~tomer... i, too, think this was a brave topic to tackle... remember, the less we talk about the ugly things, the easier it remains to push it deep in the dark closet...all that does is protect the abuser and shame the victim. someone who has been through something like this can fully understand the meaning of this: She blinked, and it was over. Her hands shook; they shook. ~nice job... |
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