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Open Poetry #45

For Just One Moment

This is Tamma
Junior Member

since 2009-07-31

Posts 15
Harpers Ferry wv

0 posted 2009-08-05 09:48 PM

Hold me close,
Heal my heart.

Care for me,
Let me in your heart.

Hold my hand,
Look into my eyes.

Make me feel loved,
Even for just one moment.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-08-05 09:55 PM

Yo Tamma,

I rather like this.

I'd leave the cap off the second line of each of your strophes.

That's just a personal prefference of mine.  Some people like a cap to start each line.  You might be one of those people.

Bobby

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

2 posted 2009-08-06 12:47 PM

I have to second Mr. Jordan. I like this. I like it's honest, vulnerable simplicity.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`·

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