Open Poetry #45 |
I'd miss... |
Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
I'd miss your pillow made of lifelines That conquers night's embrace. So cold, this bed without you And how deep the water's face. I'd miss your dreaming flutters While lying by your side Soft sleep's image as a beauty While in slumber's realm you laid I'd miss you every day And mourn you for a lifetime Each moment left delayed To keep your sighs inside. As I'd miss the painful truth; That loving is pure torture Yet you are worth the scars And you are worth all pain. You are made of stars. Hangovers are nature's way of preparing us for liver failure. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This is really good writing - and I am glad that you are back posting and sharing poetry. Alison |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~very, very nice writing! |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
v. well written! "the painful truth... That loving is pure torture(!)" ... how (sadly) true! applause for this 'penning' ! |
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Somebody New Member
since 2007-02-17
Posts 4 |
Funny, you posted this one on 13... Thank you so much for sharing this starry poem with us! The line “And how deep the water's face” brings to my mind your poem Water, one of your best. Your poem “I'd miss...” is like how love’d treat one who dared play with this ineffable feeling. To me, that’s the best bit of the poem, just worthy to read: “Yet you are worth the scars And you are worth all pain. You are made of stars.” I do agree that it’s written well but you can write more and much more polished than that. Some poems of yours do show it that you can. Practice makes perfect. If only you wished (or fancied) to practice a little more, improving and polishing your inherent gift for composing poems, if only… |
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