My Torrid Heart - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

malikai
New Member

since 2009-04-23

Posts 4

0 posted 2009-08-03 03:42 AM

I am quaking in my reverent soul
and quivering in the trenches

with heaven far above my head
and hell below just inches

memories come to the fore
completely, though unbidden

I tried to close that splintered door
yet the key remained quite hidden

with eyes wide open, mind alert
my focus on the blankness

a penny given to the poor
a deed I find quite thankless

for when the day is ending
and the shadows creepeth in

I'm acting and pretending
from beginning to the end

this does not mean a fool am I
nor does it mean I'm horrid

it means that I am lost inside
my heart is slightly torrid

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-08-03 04:58 AM

Interesting first entry, dear malikai.

Maybe you should move a few inches away from hell to diminish the torridness.

I appreciate your self-analysis.

Love,
Margherita

peaceseaker
Member

since 2009-07-29

Posts 161

2 posted 2009-08-03 08:41 AM

I like the rhyme scheme in this...I found the read a bit dark and sad for some reason, but written with good insight to ones self....peaceseaker

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2009-08-03 10:05 AM

"with heaven far above my head
and hell below just inches"

~ Not a very comfortable place to be! I'd do everything in my power to rise above those fires of hell.

May you be able to close that door and keep those unpleasant memories at bay so that they do not impinge on today.

Wishing you nner peace and harmony,

EA

D.Lester Young
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1219
Austin, Tx

4 posted 2009-08-03 01:35 PM

Welcome. Very impressive piece with some strong stanzas.

""with heaven far above my head
and hell below just inches""
""I tried to close that splintered door
yet the key remained quite hidden""
""I'm acting and pretending
from beginning to the end""

malikai
New Member

since 2009-04-23

Posts 4

5 posted 2009-08-04 08:21 PM

Thank you all for your comments. I was in a pretty good mood when I wrote this. It just sort of bubbled out.

PoetBook.com | A social poets network

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.