Teen Poetry #9 |
Thoughts Of A Solder. (another one dies tonight) |
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Twilight is dawning Cold hanging on my breath Smoke filling in the air With the burning smell of death. Loaded gun Cold eyes with tears A war is raging on What more can we fear? Bullets flying and cutting the air. Blood is shed for the bigger man. What is the reason? What was the plan? There's no sense to this. Unreasonable and cruel Accusations and hate grows this fire as fuel. Another solder fighting in this war. Doesn't have much to say Only a pawn in this game Fighting to live another day. Ash is falling from the sky Hearing the innocent cries Mind whipped clear of all fear As another soul dies. I can't stop bleeding From this battle wound My time is running out It'll all be over soon. |
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© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I loved this especially the second to last stanza so emotional and such beautiful imagery. I really liked it- very well written. Good write Rhia |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Love it! With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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Just.Another.Falling.Star Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422Canada |
this is one of your best, in my opinion. i loved it to every extent, lol. great imagry and flow with the words...library. .:~]Julianna[~:. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Nice details!!! I'm not one for war poems, but this one highly intrigued me. Nice work...You're turning into one of my favorite poets. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
hehehe. Awwww!!! I'm glad you like my work. Your work isn't too bad if I do say so myself. lol. Thanks for all the comments! xD -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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something meaningful Junior Member
since 2009-07-17
Posts 12Wisconsin, USA |
i love it! it brings the reality of war into perspective. its really well written and i dont think you could make it any better. |
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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360New Orleans |
It is well written, yet only one view of a landscape with endless windows. I shall post another under a new topic. Beautifully captured. -LostPoet |
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UNTAMEDelegance Member
since 2009-05-30
Posts 222Oregon |
Thank you for writing this. It was really hard for me to read, because my brother heads of to Afghanistan soon, but it's really beautiful and the wording is... haunting, but amazing. ~UNTAMEDelegance |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Aww I'm really sorry. My poem here wasn't a happy one at that. So I bet it probably just builds up the worry for your brother. I have cousins in the war and I know how it feels. I hope you find comfort and peace at mind. Best of wishes. And thanks for reading. -Zach |
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nehematala Member
since 2009-05-21
Posts 129 |
Thanks for writing this it is hard to read but really good. You are an amazing poet and are one of my favorites The number one thing in acting is honesty: If you can fake that you've got it made. |
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