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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2009-11-28 11:47 PM

A lost cause that never finds
Troubled dreams and faded lines
Forever drowning and cursed to be
Losing touch and touched to see

Tortured mind and hungered soul
Loss of love, burnt out coal
Tears of acid running dry
Reality fading as I cry

Hollow screams echo here
Smell of never ending fear
Smile of chaos, burning blood
Lies of misery, sound of mud

False hope and blinding pain
Courage hiding and bravery drained
Sighs of passion thirsting for life
Blurry visions an ending strife

Imprisoned happiness locked up tight
Lost the key, end of sight
Whispering voices a trembling sound
Fading faces that can not be found

Deceiving friends, family of solitude
Fake smiles and false gratitude
Lingering worry and deafening silence
Forgotten hurt scars of violence

Thoughts of madness feelings of war
Captured imagination becoming sore
Moving images, captivating danger
Alluring time reflecting a stranger

Cruel sincerity a broken sign
Blaming judgement, wisdom of mine
Sightless scars, devastating disasters
Unconscious loyalty confiding masters

Ignored death, unheard scream
Infinate forever, listless dream
Apathetic wishes, selfish lies
A selfless prayer with no reply

precious pearls
Member

since 2009-07-24

Posts 110
NJ; United States

1 posted 2009-11-29 12:08 PM

OMG it was soooo good... i really felt ur pain, u described everything sooo beautifully...
"Tortured mind and hungered soul
Loss of love, burnt out coal
Tears of acid running dry
Reality fading as I cry"
-that was my fav line cuz i can really relate!

Always,
Kai (a.k.a. precious pearls)

Stitches
Member

since 2009-11-27

Posts 159
United Kingdom

2 posted 2009-11-29 06:53 PM

Touching.

x

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

3 posted 2009-11-29 09:16 PM

All I can say is Wow, you did such a great job with this one. Definitely one of my favourites!
-Lee

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

4 posted 2009-11-30 09:22 PM

miss you Jess.
give Amelia a big hug for me.

♥²

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

ThatOneGuy
Junior Member

since 2009-10-27

Posts 33
Indiana, United States

5 posted 2009-12-15 09:38 PM

this is really well written i like it. you described everything really well it painted a really clear picture while reading it.

m48
Member

since 2009-12-02

Posts 108

6 posted 2009-12-16 12:02 PM

a picture painted.for sure a great poem.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2009-12-16 03:08 PM

You did a great job on this one, and it flows beautifully, as well as setting a very poignant and heartfelt scene. Well done!

Happy Holidays
♥ Mysteria ♥

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

8 posted 2009-12-19 12:54 PM

beautiful!!!! the poem has such a rhythm to it!

Snow_Angel
Junior Member

since 2009-12-18

Posts 17

9 posted 2009-12-19 07:03 PM

This is so beautiful.

It really makes me feel the pain that you are describing.

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