The Mask [song] - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #9

The Mask [song]

Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

0 posted 2009-11-15 07:40 AM

Kay, sooo. I wrote a song to go with guitar. Woo. The lyrics are, meh. The chorus is a bit ick. The rythm may look out at places but it works with the tune of the song. Unfortunatly, i cannot sing to save my life. Waaah. But my friend can, so i'm hoping that she'll be able to sing to my guitar playing.
Anywaaay. Any improvements to the lyrics would be welcome. The bit in ** is the chorus. The last verse is nasty, so i think i'll rewrite it.

The Mask

I did not know you then
And I do not know you now
But I can see the bottom
Of the slope you’ve fallen down
Wrapped inside a white flag
With a smile on your face
Pretending that it’s all ok
As you swallow your disgrace

*Paint on your mask
Upon another mask
Cover up the cracks
And I promise not to ask
Such a stupid question as
“Are you ok?”
And such a stupid answer as
“Just havin’ one of those days.”
Every single day?
Yeah. Every single day.*

Beautiful in darkness
You can trick the light
So when the sun comes out to play
You’ve ready for a fight
I just want to pull the wool
And cover up your eyes
So you can take a chance
At really playing blind

*Paint on your mask
Upon another mask
Cover up the cracks
And I promise not to ask
Such a stupid question as
“Are you ok?”
And such a stupid answer as
“Just havin’ one of those days.”
Every single day?
Yeah. Every single day.*

You're standing at the bottom
Of a never ending stair case
Bathed in liquid nitrogen
And standing on your shoe lace
Looking for the motivation
Just to keep on trying
But what’s the point
When you’re barely even surviving?

*Paint on your mask
Upon another mask
Cover up the cracks
And I promise not to ask
Such a stupid question as
“Are you ok?”
And such a stupid answer as
“Just havin’ one of those days.”
Every single day?
Yeah. Every single day.*

I did not know you then
And I do not know you now
I'm sick of seeing the bottom
Of the slope you've fallen down
Pick yourself up off the floor
And get back on your shelf
The day has come to break your mask
And you must be yourself
Be yourself
Be yourself
Today.

Stitches
Member

since 2009-11-27

Posts 159
United Kingdom

1 posted 2009-11-27 12:05 PM

That is lovely, love the start and finish link.

The verses are perfect (in my opinion anyway)

But I would take a look at the chorus again (though it might sound better to the music).

x

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

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