Damnation, these memories!

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Teen Poetry #9

Damnation, these memories!

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

0 posted 2009-10-05 05:13 PM

Damnation, these memories!

The night is gone
The morning begun
But in my heart I wish memories can be undone
To be left with none

Oh! what I call these memories
They did no good, my mind at seas
Thoughts keep buzzing like honey bees
Sweet oblivion, it never cease

They cause nothing but stinging pains
Lurking shadows, leaving stains
These memories- they are my chains
Invisible binding to insane, disdain

Contempt, strong I feel
To them I'm just another small meal
My fate they seal
They have left nothing to heal

Sweet memories remind this bad day
I'm taken without a say
To choose the stillness and lay
To leave every memory that make me go astray

Mystified by stillness
Oblivion? yes, but no cess
Leave my life to a paltry guess
Memories! they are such a mess

Damnation, these memories!
* cess in Irish English(informal) means luck

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2009-10-05 07:03 PM

Nice write, I know how you feel.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
...popsicle!

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

2 posted 2009-10-05 07:12 PM

thank you
glad you liked it

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

3 posted 2009-10-05 09:09 PM

I felt a strong sense of disdain in your words. It was like one of those etch-a-sketches bursting open and flooding my mind with stencil sketches.

However, most of the rhyme scheme seemed a bit forced. Although some places were cleverly used, the entire piece just didn't seemed to flow in my eyes... Of course, its your piece, so do as you will! ^_^'
Thanks for sharing!

There is power in the pen.

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

4 posted 2009-10-06 11:13 AM

Ah! What you say is right...
But then I wouldn't say most of it...
I started off with something in mind and had to add bits and pieces here and there to make it sound complete...
You're real clever to catch it.

To be specific the fourth stanza...

Thank you for your thoughts...I shall keep it in mind when I write others...

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

5 posted 2011-10-03 06:48 PM

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