Cracking The Looking Glass

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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-09-30 12:41 PM

Hey guys. So this was just a random write after being inspired by several things as followed...

(Songs: Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore. If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears. Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance. Music Box by Regina Spektor.
Other thing: Alice in Wonderland.

)

Lol okay so that's a lot of things and I probably didn't use my inspirations to their full potential. Anyway here's my poem.

Hope you enjoy.

P.S I don't like the third stanza at all. So if you think of something better please tell.

Thanks.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Whisper a fairy tale
Build your invisable walls
Ignore all the pain and suffering,
The people waiting for you to fall

Take down the memories
Throw them in the nearest lake
Smear your pretty make up darling
Draw on a smile oh so fake

Its a circle;
A cycle we all go through
Your life; a stage
An act we all see too

Whisper your tales
Hide your heart with magic
Watch it disappear honey!
That old life; so tragic

[This message has been edited by Falling rain (10-05-2009 05:43 PM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2009-09-30 08:10 PM

This would sound really good as a song if you could think of something a bit more fitting for the third stanza. It kinda reminds me of Everybody's Fool (evanescence) actually. But anyhoo, great write. Sorry I don't have any title suggestion :\

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
...popsicle!

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2009-10-01 12:41 PM

wow Zack i love this

precious pearls
Member

since 2009-07-24

Posts 110
NJ; United States

3 posted 2009-10-04 04:46 PM

How about:
It's a cycle that never ends
A circle that never opens
Whether it be occasionally or in stages
It never ceases

I can't think of a title though, if i come back to it, i'll let you kno

BTW, Great poem, very insightful and full of truths!

Always,
Kai (a.k.a. precious pearls)

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

4 posted 2009-10-04 04:52 PM

gr8 poem..reminds me a lot of myself...
btw kai has realli cool idea for the thrid stanza...
she did great...

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

5 posted 2009-10-04 10:43 PM

How about:

"Cracking the Looking Glass"

or

"Filling the Rabbit Hole"

There is power in the pen.

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