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madelyn
Member

since 2009-09-03

Posts 172
Purgatory

0 posted 2009-09-03 07:51 AM

I sit in the back of my classroom
Never put my hand up
Never said a word
Got all A's

I sit alone at lunch
Eating slowly
Fear rips my soul into pieces
Should i look for someone to talk to?
No failure was definte

I dragged myself home
I didnt pay attention
To anybody else
So i never noticed
My sister in a fight

My father asked me
Where is your sister
I shrugged out of my bag
I nodded towards a party invite.

And trugged into my room
I do all my homework
Even the extra credit

I check my email
Ahh more abuse
I delete it

I go to my bed
And fall into bliss
I dream of being
rich
popular
beautiful

But then I wake up
To the sound of screaming
My sister
She gets all the attention

I drift back into bliss
And hope to sleep through the night
without nightmares...

Why does teen years have to be filled with such hurt?

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2009-09-03 10:09 AM

madelyn, I am one of 5 children.  Two were 6 and 7 years older and the rest of us just one or 2 years apart. I hear all the time how I was the favorite of my father's when I am thinking one of the others  was always the favorite.

So that sibling rivalry is in many families. True or not, maybe your sister just needs that attention more. You seem to be doing all the right things, sometimes we are the ones who should be noticed but instead it is what is expected of us.

If this is true, I am  proud of you.  I  use to teach but substitute now..so I see a lot of what is going on in schools especially.

Eventually you will find those true enough to be friends or they  will find you.

M

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

2 posted 2009-09-03 08:41 PM

quote:
I check my email
Ahh more abuse
I delete it

Madelyn,

First, you have one of my very favorite names.  When I was in grade school and junior high I was bullied by a couple of girls.  It was awful. I had known them all my life - we had once played together.  I wanted to delete them.

I am so glad that you have the wisdon to delete the emails.  I hope that you don't even take the time to read them.  Don't give people power over you.  No one I knows wants to ever go back to being a teenager.  We are all happy to have survived that time with the scars we have.  Those I thought were so happy - lived with the same insecurities that I had.  It's just hell.

However, you will survive.  And someday you can look back and cringe too (smiles).  I am not going to say that the hurt all goes away.  It didn't for me, but it doesn't hurt much anymore - and I realize that my life is rich because I am the person who endured what I endured.

Like Maureen, I had older sisters too.  The eldest is 9 years older and the closest to me is 5 years older.  I thought they had it so easy - and they thought I did.  It's all perspective.

Just know this -- people care.

Hang in there - and I hope this didn't sound too patronizing.

Alison

madelyn
Member

since 2009-09-03

Posts 172
Purgatory

3 posted 2009-09-04 04:26 AM

I dont feel like that all the time just when she gets invited to a really big party. She needs my parents attention i know that.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2009-09-04 11:05 AM

That's the beauty of poetry. We can express the emotions we feel at the time we feel it. Maybe I took the words too much at face value.

Anyway, I really like the poem. You did touch me.

Alison

Ravagence
Member

since 2009-08-16

Posts 79

5 posted 2009-09-04 02:21 PM

Amazing, The first stanza is what i feel, but I can draw a connection elsewhere too

Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member

since 2009-05-03

Posts 31
Terrell,Texas

6 posted 2009-09-04 08:11 PM

I wish I had the talent that u do so i could bring out my pain.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

7 posted 2009-09-05 08:43 AM

"Why does teen years have to be filled with such hurt?"

You know how a caterpillar changes into a butterfly? Maybe our teenage years are our time in a cocoon? Sure its hard. We all have hardship and trust me I know how that is. This is really nice write. I liked it alot.

Keep writing.

-Zach

madelyn
Member

since 2009-09-03

Posts 172
Purgatory

8 posted 2009-09-06 07:06 AM

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

9 posted 2009-09-10 08:16 PM

wow this is a great poem. the flow was great. hmm my sister always got all the attention i was always the quiet one. i hated it so i came out of my shell. got involved with the wrong kind of ppl. maybe you should try and come out of your shell and try making more friends.(be careful with who you chose to be firends with though) and maybe having your sister the COA wont hurt so much. good luck with everything and if u ever need to talk feel free to email me.

great poem
Krysti

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