Teen Poetry #9 |
theres another on the way. |
Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
taken from the world before you ever knew its beauty blue eyes just like mine makes the pain go right through me a smile and a hand to hold never found your heart the world was gone to fast it all just fell apart i dont know what else to do so i sit here with my pen and write theses last words for you even though they dont make sense i bled my pain into words now only time will tell if the scars can mend the cuts and if i escape hell lift the heavens high tonight there's another on the way close your eyes one last time as they open up the gates ~ you cant run from yourself ~ |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
This poem is exemplary! It's very sad, but I think the reson no one has commented on it is because it's too good. You are pretty good at having meter... Spectacular job! |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
OMFG... Sorry but u just took my socks and half my darn toes. this is.. more than good... more than great.. i'd say i was lost for words but i'm typing so yeah.. It's beyond the normal esquiteness of you.. WOW!!! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
I'm with Jess on this!! Dude, seriously, this was beyond good. One of your best for sure. Just wow. .I still can't get over what you wrote! Its just.. wow.. Okay I'm gonna stop talking. lol. -Zach |
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Leanne <3 Member
since 2007-08-25
Posts 216N.S.W, Australia |
wow, i am speechless incredible use of words and emotion! -Lee |
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precious pearls Member
since 2009-07-24
Posts 110NJ; United States |
"i bled my pain into words now only time will tell if the scars can mend the cuts and if i escape hell" TEARS WERE RUNNING DOWN MY FACE BY THE TIME I GOT TO THIS PART!!! Words cannot express the words I mean... just WOW, and wow doesn't even cover it man. I don't know how you get your poetry to be so deep... Definetely your best so far! Truly Speechless, Kai |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
thanks for all the feedback guys. i really like to see you all enjoyed it. really. thanks. |
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