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Teen Poetry #9

beauty

LOSTinTHISworld
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 94
canada

0 posted 2009-01-12 08:05 PM

sitting in a never ending circle
writing a never ending story
with our never ending emotion
such is beauty
ever word, every smile
every glisten in our eye
but why does it seem
we can only see
each others beauty
and not our own
will no reflection in the mirror
or a rideau street window
ever capture our own beauty
only in each others eyes
will we see our own beauty
so look closely
look in my eyes
do you see
its beauty.

memento mori

[This message has been edited by LOSTinTHISworld (01-13-2009 04:24 AM).]

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

1 posted 2009-01-12 09:47 PM

this is a really good poem. i liked the repetition in the first few lines, it drove the point more.
great write!

?ul!@nn@

these broken pieces of my heart are to shattered to be put back together again

wwzwlmd8
Member

since 2006-09-23

Posts 96
San Diego,CA

2 posted 2009-01-12 09:57 PM

i really love the first part but over all i loved the whole thing.

~Indya

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2009-01-12 10:16 PM

I have to agree with the others. Pretty nice. Keep it up.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

4 posted 2009-01-13 12:47 PM

Haha, it sounds like a pick-up line at the end. But I must say, this is one of the sweetest and cleverest pick-up lines I've ever read/heard.

This made me laugh, so great job!
Library.

There is power in the pen.

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