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Teen Poetry #9
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broken_smile1469
Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104


0 posted 2009-01-12 03:18 PM



Its inexplicable, I don’t know what to say
Its like, I love you more than anything
You take my breathe away.
But there’s more than that, words can’t explain
The butterflies I feel
Everything is perfect
Everything is real.
You are the world to me
I just can’t believe something like this
Truly can exist, can it really be?
Someone I’ve never met, someone I know so well
Someone who I never want to be without
Someone who has my heart, more than I could ever tell.
I am in deeply in love..
Taken in by that smile and those eyes
You capture me again.. I want to be with you
Until the day I die.
Its like I’m floating above the ground
And never do I ever want to come down.
You bring me so much ecstasy
Never leave my side.
Promise to be my husband
And stay with me for the rest of our lives.

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

© Copyright 2009 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
1 posted 2009-01-12 03:24 PM


Haha... This is cute. At first I was kinda rolling my eyes, but it's persistent innocence is contagious.
lovelyswagg14
Junior Member
since 2009-05-17
Posts 12
Irvine,California
2 posted 2009-05-20 09:16 PM


I got confused at the part were you wrote
"Someone I’ve never met"
How could you not have met him?

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
3 posted 2009-05-20 09:56 PM


Cute.
I know exactly how you feel.

{~~*~~}


Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
    {~~*~~}

Kalysta
Junior Member
since 2009-04-02
Posts 41
Ohio
4 posted 2009-05-20 10:13 PM


I like the beginning,but the end needs some work. I think you should take the part about "be my husband" out. I dont think it fits and makes it seem kinda obsessive.

~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

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