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Teen Poetry #9
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Senselessly Numb
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Senselessly Numb |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
It's doesn't rhyme! Agh! Just thought i'd try something different. Crit very much welcome as i would love to know how to improve on the art of non-rhyme. Senselessly Numb Is there anybody in there? These eyes staring into me Peering at the glassy space That seems to occupy my face A creaking grin coats my cheeks But my veins run with nothingness I barely feel the pin prick Of words pointed at me Inside a bubble of silence Silence that provides the numb Sense of existence that seems to Inhabit this body I’m inside Face is pressed to the ground Unaware of the crowd that Circles in a sphere of noise that Can never quite reach my ears My skin is a cold and distant Armour that protects my creaking Smile. Its ok, we’re all here The faces that beg to mean Something? Stare at my hands in a hope They will touch an anchor As I’m drifting, floating, Breathing in this gravity Is there anybody in there? There is no question It’s just me, my smile And my senseless numb. |
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KatVern17 Junior Member
since 2009-05-07
Posts 33 |
Space and Face rhyme. It's really a good poem. I had liked reading it. |
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Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk Junior Member
since 2009-05-03
Posts 31Terrell,Texas |
"Be harsh I've learn some way",you say are you crazy that was the most amazing poem I've read,know why BECAUSE IT MADE SENSE to me at least write more,write more,write more OR ELSE. -LOVE YOU |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
Haha, face and space were unintentional. Thanks for the positive comments. (: |
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