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navwin » Main Forums » Teen Poetry #9 » I'm Cold
Teen Poetry #9
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pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513
0 posted 2009-04-21 04:51 PM

Standing
Talking to You
I'm cold
You see this
Pull me close
I'm warm
Your heart beats
Mine sprints
Steady sound
Racing rythym
We let go
Standing
Talking to You
I'm cold

Hug me again?

© Copyright 2009 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356
1 posted 2009-04-21 05:22 PM

I was awfully tempted to just put "good write"! lol  Then I saw your crit message.

What I liked about this was its charming simplicity.  You didn't try to embellish it with lots of fancy words or rhyme; just a happy and true little vignette of life and love.  Simply honest images.  Thanks

M
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navwin » Main Forums » Teen Poetry #9 » I'm Cold

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