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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling rain
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since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-03-16 09:52 PM


Okay this free write is me going out on a limb. And I noticed how I have like no happy poems. Its really sad how the only feeling I can write about is sorrow..
Lost within my crystal shards
Memories lay at my feet
Drowning in pools of tears
That I cry silent at night

Tongue-tied from lies I spoke
Self esteem worn so low
Dragging feet across pavement
Have no clue where to go

Thoughts searching for some sense
Grasping smoke filled reason
Living everyday like the same
Don't know how to be free from this


© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
1 posted 2009-03-16 09:57 PM


Sorrow. Yeah that sounds like a good word for them. I guess once one has been through so much sorrow it begins to consume them. Maybe you could help your poems a little by adding structure. Like sentences or commas to seperate thoughts and emotions.
Falling rain
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2 posted 2009-03-16 09:59 PM


To be honest structure is the least of my worries right now..
GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
3 posted 2009-03-16 10:03 PM


Yea I can bet on that one. Pretty much tha same thing here...
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
4 posted 2009-03-16 10:10 PM


I really like this, I saw a lot of emotion, and I don't think freewrites are meant to be critiqued, so that's all I'll say about that.

I personally think, no matter who you are or what you've been through, it's just easier to write about sorrow and saddness, especially if that's how you feel at the moment.

No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else!

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
5 posted 2009-03-16 10:12 PM


I think darkness and BLAH are easiest to write about. && yeaa.. I just said tha structure thing cuz what we were txting about Zack. idr now tho.
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