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Teen Poetry #9
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| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois 
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Write myself out of every love song Because they only end in pain Broken memories stretched thin My voice going strain Please don't get me wrong I walked in this open heartiling Luring me with a smile And lips that kept me wondering I was wrapped around her finger Her eyes have a strong hold Velvet voice oh so sweet Singing words of gold She had control of my strings A puppeteer behind the wheel Blind to all the wrongs Everything seem to appeal Euphonius to my ears Always knew what to say Live up to every command Getting lost along the way Write myself out of every love song I end up losing in the end Where right and wrong are missing And I end up losing another friend |
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| © Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
um... Wasn't your best, I felt like there were a lot of forced rhymes.(just my opinion) No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
you have no idea It was just so hard to rhyme.. |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Maybe you should write some non-rhyming poems or if you're still having problems with writer's block, try some freewriting, just for the fun of it. It can inspire you to write other poems, and plus its fun writing whatever just pops into your head, anyways. No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else! |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
I would like to see from non-rhyming poems from you as well. It would be awesome to see what you can do without the restrictions of rhyme. Plus, I hate rhyme lol I did enjoy this beyond the forced rhyme tho. I didn't even notice the rhyme in most of it. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Well the thing about free writes is that one line will go short, the next long. The rhythm of the poem goes off and it sounds horrible. That's why I rhyme. It keeps me restricted a little. -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I totally understand, Zach, trust me, I love rhyme, but the truth is no rhyme is so much better than forced rhyme. And freewrites don't have to be good, there just there to inspire you, to help you start writing an actual poem. Freewrites can be about anything and about nothing at the same time, it could be a list of you naming a bunch of cereal brands or about fruits or whatever, freewrites are there to make you think, they're not necessarily a poem. No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Yeah. But its like, I'm more of a story writer. That's what I do in poems. I can't write something totally random. It has to be something that I can describe and give imagery. I can't really write a message into my poem. Trust me I've tried. I'm just losing what talent I have in writing. -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Well, I'm just losing my talent in everything. I doubt you are losing your writing talent. You probably just can't think of anything to write about. |
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