Teen Poetry #9 |
fell |
gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
Is there one heart? The one thing you live by I can’t see how people live this way Its love for the girl you want someday What about the passion you feel for the blue sky Or the logs in the fire by your side Is that really all? Successes is in the heart What if it’s torn out by the girl you most want? The dream you had is gone The deepening hole you made Now you can’t climb out that way She ain’t coming back I’m stuck with a fee That’s unplayable The job I as left with For the rest of time It’s nothing to laugh at I had nothing to give up more than that I saw her one last time today With her boyfriend Mac God listen to my blessing I don’t want to ask for too much Let me have her to hold on to Am I asking too much? I will shout out Even if I lose this love game I heard her say “Maybe some day ill marry him” I hope it’s a cruel joke she playin Cause it feels like hell I just want to go home There are two of you That keeps me dragging through I’m not sure if its you |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
My feelings are mixed for this one. On one hand, I like ur use of words. "passion you feel for the blue sky" "cruel joke" were some of them. But for some reason, ur poem was littered with Korean letters! (I'm Korean btw) So some of the words were obscured... Anyway, this was good, but personally I think that u've got more up ur sleeve. Thanks for sharing. There is power in the pen. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Yeaaa, the Korean things completely lost me. |
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gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
hmm depends what kinda computers you use my brother uses a mac and it does it to him idk though lol |
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