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Teen Poetry #9
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gdcod2player
Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117


0 posted 2009-01-06 09:27 PM



Is there one heart?
The one thing you live by
I can’t see how people live this way
Its love for the girl you want someday
What about the passion you feel for the blue sky
Or the logs in the fire by your side

Is that really all?
Successes is in the heart
What if it’s torn out by the girl you most want?
The dream you had is gone
The deepening hole you made
Now you can’t climb out that way

She ain’t coming back
I’m stuck with a fee
That’s unplayable
The job I as left with
For the rest of time

It’s nothing to laugh at
I had nothing to give up more than that
I saw her one last time today
With her boyfriend Mac
God listen to my blessing
I don’t want to ask for too much
Let me have her to hold on to
Am I asking too much?
I will shout out
Even if I lose this love game

I heard her say
“Maybe some day ill marry him”
I hope it’s a cruel joke she playin
Cause it feels like hell
I just want to go home

There are two of you
That keeps me dragging through
I’m not sure if its you

© Copyright 2009 gdcod2player - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
1 posted 2009-01-07 01:06 AM


My feelings are mixed for this one. On one hand, I like ur use of words. "passion you feel for the blue sky" "cruel joke" were some of them.

But for some reason, ur poem was littered with Korean letters! (I'm Korean btw) So some of the words were obscured...
Anyway, this was good, but personally I think that u've got more up ur sleeve. Thanks for sharing.

There is power in the pen.

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
2 posted 2009-03-20 09:03 AM


Yeaaa, the Korean things completely lost me.
gdcod2player
Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117

3 posted 2009-04-09 01:41 AM


hmm depends what kinda computers you use
my brother uses a mac and it does it to him
idk though lol

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navwin » Main Forums » Teen Poetry #9 » fell

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