that day (please read me and comment)

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kiwie15:D
Junior Member

since 2009-03-05

Posts 13
california

0 posted 2009-03-05 08:55 PM

its something i have been wanting to show people
i hope you like it

---------------------------------------------------

i'll never forget the date
i was picked up after school
to find a sad surprise
that just came too late

i couldn't here a thing that day
i could barley even see
though my mom tried telling me it was okay
water from my eyes wouldnt go away

once it finally set in
i could breath again
but the thought kept running through my head
what could i have done or said

i miss him
i miss him so much
the last words i said to him were
i love you , but i was in such a rush

i'll never forget the date
march 5, 2008
the day my grandfather died
wont stop eating me up inside

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2009-03-05 09:16 PM

Sarah...

I'm really sorry for your loss. I just lost my dad this last May. Grieve how you want. Let the hurt out, poetry is a great place for it.

suggestions would be to check your spelling on here /hear

and please know that you will be read, you don't need to put that in the title

it's a good group here, I think you will fit right in

and? I'm sorry you are hurting.

KandyGrl511
Member

since 2008-11-30

Posts 52
Michigan

2 posted 2009-03-05 09:52 PM

that makes three us who just lost people that are very special to us.i had also lost my dad recently past in november. sorry for ur loses!

<3 i love u<3

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

3 posted 2009-03-05 10:36 PM

Hmmmm, I had a feeling to laugh when I read where you accidently put 'barley' instead of 'barely', it didn't fit the mood at all so I held it in.

I am sorry for your loss.

It was difficult for me to read this out loud. Maybe after completing your poems you should read them aloud to see if they flow well to you or not. Just a suggestion. =]]

Welcome to PiP.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

4 posted 2009-03-06 07:50 AM

This was a very emotional write and I can see that in your words. I know grieving is hard for everyone because its a challenge of our very own. Only you can get over it but people here will be here to help you along the way. Stay Strong Sarah.

And great poem by the way.

Welcome to Pip,

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

Britt_Brat
Junior Member

since 2008-03-05

Posts 37
Knoxville, TN

5 posted 2009-03-06 11:01 AM

I'm sorry for your lost. i lost my grandma last year. its really good write you can really see that. just watch the out for spelling. and welcome to pip talk.

cut and bleeding

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