My Dear, Lost , Beloved Best Friend

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Teen Poetry #9

My Dear, Lost , Beloved Best Friend

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

0 posted 2009-01-05 10:13 PM

wrote this a while ago..was comign out of my writer's block so it kinda sucks..but tell me what u think

It's just one of those days
Where life's got you down
You're just caught in the dump
While the world's spinning around

Feeling so alone
Never able to tell
Whether life will be good to you
Or bring you to Hell

Some days I can forget you
The facts I can just ignore
Other times I'm depressed
Feeling my heart that you tore*

I miss you forever
I'll miss you to the end
I will not ever cease to miss you
My dear, lost, beloved best friend

You were completely meant for me
You became part of my soul
Now with you gone
I find myself unwhole

I hope your life is good, my friend
I pray you never go astray
I wish to see you again in Heaven
And that never again your friendships fray

I'll be your gardian angel
Who watches over you at night
The one always standing on the sidelines
Witnessing the rises and falls of your life

For now I say "goodbye"
But hope to soon reconcile
I love you my friend, take care, stay in Christ,
For this earthyly pain shall only last but a little while.

* i dont like this line at all but i couldnt think of anything else..any suggestions?

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

1 posted 2009-01-05 11:06 PM

"I will not ever cease to miss you" Um...I don't think ur supposed to have "not" and "cease" right next to each other...But I may be wrong.

As for the third stanza, how about this?
"Some days I'll forget you
The facts I'll just ignore
Other days I remember
The torn heart I once bore"

There is power in the pen.

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

2 posted 2009-01-05 11:09 PM

oooooo i like that!!! u dont mind if i change it to that do u??
thank u!!

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

3 posted 2009-01-09 01:21 AM

Of course! Go right on ahead!

There is power in the pen.

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